A Game Tester's Sojourn

Dickwolves and Why They Are a Problem

2011-01-31T17:44:00.000-08:00

WARNING: This entry contains terminology that some may find triggering in terms of sexual assault post-traumatic stress. Please be advised. Scroll to the very last paragraph to avoid the triggers and get to the crux of the issue, should you feel the need. Thank you.

I've been watching the Dickwolves issue unfold for a while now, and I have to admit, I'm shocked at some of the behavior exhibited by members of the games community.

For those who have yet to catch up, this particular Penny Arcade comic started quite the uproar a few months back, and then fuel was added to the fire when PA released a t-shirt associated with said comic. Many have said they cannot understand what the problem is, as they found the comic to be humorous, and the shirt moreso. To me, the issue isn't so much the comic itself. My issue is with the rather asinine "apology" (so called) they offered in response to said uproar.

Now, many have coverd this issue much more eloquently than I ever could. That said, I feel I must add my 8-bits here, as the only way to learn from a situation such as this one is to speak up and share the knowledge we have.

People who are not familiar with the aftermath of non-consentual sexual activity and sexual assault don't know that even the word "rape" itself can be a "trigger" to those who have been through such a traumatic event. It's like a car backfiring behind a war veteran near a crowded sidewalk: "Triggers" can send a person with PTSD down the rabbit hole of their own personal hell, head first, and it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days to come back out again.

Anyone who has any experience with post-traumatic stress disorder will tell you triggers fall into three categories. The first is things that will most certainly set you off. I have a friend who was assaulted while in the military, and this individual experiences a PTSD event whenever the scent of motor oil is in the air. The poor thing can't even take a car into JiffyLube to be serviced; this person's spouse has to do it, so ingrained is the connection between that smell and the experience that changed them forever.

Then there's the things that have a 50/50 shot of setting you off. The song that was playing in the background during the event. The color of the shirt the assailant was wearing. The texture of the surface on which the act took place. Sometimes, they do nothing to a victim; s/he can encounter these things, and depending on the circumstances, things will be just fine. Other times, the victim comes in contact with one or a combination of those things, and The Event comes roaring back to the forefront of his/her mind, causing untold mental, and sometimes physical, anguish.

Lastly, there are those things that no one ever, in a million years, thought would trigger an episode of post-traumatic stress. Once, while out shopping with a friend, we passed by a pretzel stand, and out of nowhere, my friend stopped dead in the walkway and began to shake violently. I was completely unprepared for the experience, as I couldn't for the life of me understand what was going on. After calling my then-boyfriend for help, he called our friend's other half, who came and retrieved us from the mall more than an hour later.

It wasn't until we had returned home and my friend was given a sedative and put to bed that it was explained to me that this person whom I had known for years had been sexually assaulted by a family member in the past. When I asked if the pretzel shop had any significance in regard to the event, my friend's husband said, no, not that he knew of. When asked later, my friend couldn't pinpoint what it was about the location that triggered the response, only that one minute, we were walking through the food court, and the next, we were in a pink-painted bedroom with white crown molding, and there was no way out.*

This, ladies and gentleman, is why "trigger" warnings are important. Do I think the pretzel shop should have had a trigger warning posted on their door? Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. I do, however, believe that once it was made clear why a trigger warning would have been prudent on a comic such as that one, Penny Arcade should have added one. Instead, they chose to take the low road, and fan the flames of controversy. That is my main issue with this entire situation. While I, myself, do not find the word "rape" to be a trigger**, many men and women (and yes, men can be victimized in this way, whether we want to believe it or not) cannot speak the word, let alone hear it or read it without reliving very painful memories.

Why is it so wrong that we show some compassion to a portion of our community (people we raid with, spawn camp with, swap in-game items with on a daily basis) by adding a simple warning when it comes to discussing something this serious? Why is it so wrong to hope that someone's financial bottom line isn't as important as making their demographic feel safe when reading their website or paying to attend their conventions? How could doing such a thing possibly be a threat to you or anyone else?

It isn't. And that's why we're angry.

*I posted these annecdotes with the permission of the people involved. I mentioned no names, nor did I get very specific, to respect the privacy of people I love and adore.

**In the interest of full disclosure, yes, I was nearly a victim myself at the tender age of fifteen; I just happened to be lucky enough to be within reach of a tire iron at the time. I'll let you draw your own conclusions, there.

Game Review: Assassin's Creed 2

2010-12-05T14:43:00.000-08:00

One would think with all the misgivings and complaints I had about the first game, I wouldn’t have given Assassin’s Creed 2 a ghost of a chance. Many of my friends thought I would just skip over it in favor of playing something completely different than came out at the same time, like, say, Dragon Age: Origins. While I did play BioWare’s newest RPG almost as soon as it was released, I didn’t hesitate to pick up Assassin’s Creed 2 two weeks later.

Typically, I avoid the hype machine for games as much as possible, which is no mean feat given that I work for one of America’s largest video game retailers. The reasons for my behavior are many, but the biggest one is. . .I’ve been burned before. Call me jaded, but I’ve been deceived by the marketing machine of many a company too many times to remain more than cautiously optimistic when a new game is announced. (*cough*TOMB RAIDER*cough*)

That said, from the moment it was confirmed the sequel to one of the most celebrated (and simultaneously maligned) games of this console generation was to take place in Italy during the Renaissance, my interest was piqued. For the first time in many, many years, I followed the news for a video game like a sports fan follows his favorite team. By the time November 17th, 2009 rolled around, I could barely sleep the night before, and bemoaned the fact that my local game store wasn’t holding a midnight launch event, so excited was I to get my hands on this game.

And for once, I wasn’t disappointed.

This time around, you play not as Altair, but as Ezio Auditore da Firenze, a young Florentine gentleman who. . .

Okay, okay, wait. Hold it. I can’t type another word before I clear something up. If you’ve not played any of the AC titles, and wish to avoid spoilers of any kind, you need to speed scroll to the Verdict section at the end of this review this. very. instant.

…..

…..

…..

All ashore who’s going ashore? Good. Now we can continue.

Remember in my review of the original game I mentioned a story-framing device that, while not altogether believable, was somewhat different and interesting? Roughly five minutes into the game, the plot-bomb that you’re not actually Altair ibn-La’Ahad from Medieval Palestine, but a modern-day assassin-turned-bartender named Desmond Miles is dropped on your head with the force of a falling stone gargoyle. As it turns out, the Templars have not been defeated, as the end of Assassin’s Creed would have you believe, but gone into hiding. Their near-future cover, a corporation called Abstergo Industries, is funding their fervent search for the Apple, which has gone missing since they last had their hands on it. With no clue as to where it could be, they’ve created a device called the Animus to search the genetic memories of Altair’s descendants.

"Look, we're supposed to be searching Ezio's memories. Why are you rooting through my time at band camp?"

As I said before, it’s not a completely believable bit of sci-fi, but as far as plot devices go, they could have done worse. (Mass Effect 2, I’m looking at you, but we’ll have our parent-teacher conference later.)

Anyway, in the first game, Desmond has been captured by two scientists, Doctors Lucy Stillman and Warren Vidic, and is forced into the Animus to help them find out what his ancestors did with this shiny bauble that could allow them to control the world. All is not as it seems, however, and at the beginning of the sequel, Lucy helps Desmond escape the Abstergo facility, and spirits him away to an Assassin safehouse. There, it is revealed that the higher ups in the Brotherhood wish for Desmond to enter their version of the Animus so that he may learn all the awesome parkour and blade-wielding ways of those who came before, but in an extremely abbreviated amount of time. The risks to his psyche are many, since prolonged use of the machine makes it harder and harder to discern reality from (genetic) memory, and many of the previous subjects (most notably, Subject 16, who drained his own blood to leave messages on the floor and walls of his cell for whomever was unfortunate enough to occupy it next) went nuts or died. Or both. Despite personal danger, Desmond agrees, and we are plunged into 1459 Florence to be introduced to another of his bloodline, Ezio Auditore de Firenze.

Ezio (right) speaking with his older brother, Federico.

One cannot talk about the rest of the game without first considering the new protagonist. Ezio is a charming, intelligent, lovable rogue who is fiercely loyal to his friends and family. When compared to his ancestor Altair, he’s practically a teddy bear. (Well, a stylishly-dressed teddy bear carrying an arsenal of deadly weapons and a grudge the size of Vatican City, but still.) The glimpses of his younger, carefree days, which serve to mask the initial tutorial system enough to keep the player from feeling ‘babied’, showcase his naivete and optimism, and goes a long way toward making the player give a damn about what happens to him.

Which makes it all the more heartbreaking when we (and Ezio) are forced to simply watch as half his family is executed for crimes they didn’t commit.

In the aftermath of the wrongful deaths of his father and brothers (and the off-screen. . .mistreatment of his mother and sister), the young Auditore we’ve come to know and love vanishes, to be replaced by a man bent on revenge. We can’t help but mourn the loss of the innocent boy we’d only just gotten to know, even as we cheer for the man who will avenge those lost to both of them.

The Good

There is a saying that states, “God is in the details,” and in some ways, the success of Assassin’s Creed 2 can be accredited to this idea. The design team (which grew to nearly 140 individual designers, artists, coders, testers, and historical consultants over the course of development) fixed a lot of things players had issues with in the first game. For that, Ubisoft currently has my loyalty and respect. Unlike many other franchises, they actually gave a damn about what the fans had to say, and that makes them aces in my book.

First and foremost, the open world consisting of the city-states of 15th century Italy is mind-boggling huge and breathtakingly beautiful, much like Ubi’s depiction of the Medieval-era Holy Land. The difference is, this time around, there are things one can do outside the main storyline other than collect flags and scale Viewpoints. From treasure hunting and chasing down pickpockets, to taking on assassination contracts, to raiding ancient tombs to recover lost Brotherhood antiquities, you’ll not lack for things to do if you need a break from the primary plot.

"We're following the leader, the leader, the leader. . ."

Getting from one end of the map to the other has also become more enjoyable, as the horseback riding has been drastically overhauled, and there is now a fast-travel system (thanks to the invention of carriages) that is available to players almost from the outset of the game. It comes at a price, of course, but when you’ve got limited time in your busy schedule to play games, not wasting time walking ever-so-slowly past a patrol every three seconds makes life much, much better.

The musical score, voice-acting, and wardrobe design are all top-notch, and, combined with the addition of a day/night cycle and an in-game economy, all come together to make Ubisoft’s (mostly accurate) vision of historical Venice, Florence, and Tuscany more vibrant and engaging than the setting of its precursor. Thanks to said economy, the player can now upgrade Ezio’s weapons and armor, too, as well as purchase medicine to cure what ails him after a bad fight. With the revamped combat system, these three things are essential, as the size of your health meter is now directly tied to what kind of armor you’re wearing.

Speaking of controls, the Puppeteering System as a whole has received an upgrade, making scaling buildings much faster and outrunning enemies somewhat easier to manage. Lining up jumps can still be a major pain in the neck, but given that you now have a means of healing yourself quickly, falling from a height less than seven stories is less likely to kill you. The addition of Smoke Bombs and the ability to toss money on the ground (thus using the surrounding crowds as a mean of distraction) allows for disengaging targets to give you a chance to run away, which is a welcome change to the “you’ll fight, and you’ll like it” way of doing things the previous game seemed to employ.

The number and type of places to hide has changed, too, and for the better. Besides the old standbys of hay piles, gardens, and benches, you can now blend in with any crowd of civilians, rather than having to wait around for a passing group of Scholars, who are conspicuously absent in this tale. As you gain allies throughout the region, you can also hire thieves, mercenaries and courtesans to either distract or fight your enemies so that you may sneak past them to your intended destination undetected. This adds a much-needed shot in the arm to the promised-but-poorly-delivered stealth gameplay we’ve seen up until now.

Oh, and unlike Altair, Ezio can swim. Not only can you roam Venice without fear of dying in a mud puddle, you can dive from buildings into canals and swim beneath the surface, escaping detection from those on the docks and rooftops. It is especially satisfying to reach up from beneath the water to grab a guard by the belt and drag him down to a watery death. Well done, Ubi. Bonus points for creativity, there.

Thankfully, we are not required to visit an old-world dry cleaner after every high dive.

Many of the non-player characters from the original game were somewhat interesting, but still more of them were bland and static. As an amateur history buff, this made me very sad, as the term “stranger than fiction” applies to no better tale than the history of the ancient world. Thankfully, AC2 is not lacking for colorful and spellbinding characters. From a nun who runs a bordello to a mercenary with a peculiar relationship with his sword of choice to a stranded countess abandoned by her gondola pilot, you’ll be checking the database at every turn just to see if these people are “for real.” The most noteworthy of these NPCs is Leonardo da Vinci. In this game, Leonardo is to Ezio what “Q” is to James Bond.

Leonardo da Vinci: Intellectual Badass

Let me say that again for those in the back of the class: Leonardo friggin’ da Vinci is your quartermaster. The weapons that can’t be purchased from the shops, such as a duplicate of your signature hidden blade (which makes stabbing two dudes in the throat at one time possible) and a wrist-mounted single-shot pistol, are all Leonardo’s doing. He also pulls together some prototype toys for you to play with, like his famous Flying Machine, and while we don’t get to see (or use) often enough for my liking, they’re still pretty damn cool.

Ezio is nothing if not efficient.

The Bad

Even with all the improvements made to the game as a whole, there are still bits that feel strange or downright irritating. The controls, while much improved, still offer moments where you want to hunt down the designers and ask them why the hell they hate us so much. I mean, there’s an entire sequence that should have been short and sweet and to the point, yet it took me a good 40 minutes because I had to remember how to jump from a ledge to a horizontal beam directly over my head from a standing position. Nothing in the game prior to that moment required such a move, and it had been at least twelve months since I had rage-quit the previous title in the series. This, I suppose, is one of the draw backs of open-world gameplay: Since you can play in any order you choose, you may miss out on key experiences that will further fill out your repertoire of moves for certain missions, and you’ll find yourself saying, ‘Well, THAT would have come in handy a few hours ago.”

Another drawback, albeit a somewhat minor one, is the jagged difficulty curve that results from this sort of setup. In some places, things are unnecessarily difficult; in others, things are so easy you have to wonder if you’re being punk’d. Now, I understand that not everything a wetworks guy does to prepare for a hit is action-packed dynamite. That’s not what I’m talking about. It seems the training regimen for city security forces didn’t change much between the 12th and 15th centuries, if the behavior of the AI is any indication. While they seem to be slightly more intelligent than their AC1 brethren, there are still times where you have to wonder if some of these jerks are clairvoyant, as they really shouldn’t be able to see you when you’re hanging off a ledge behind them.

On a completely different subject, it feels like the designers crammed too much stuff into the game. It feels like an attempt to overcompensate for making the world in AC1 so bloody empty, and while this isn’t a deal-breaker, it does make one wonder if they thought everything through. The biggest example of this is the oft-debated purpose of your home base, a Renaissance version of Masayaf called Villa Auditore.

I go back and forth frequently on how I feel about the aspect of the game, but in the end, I filed it under this heading because I can’t really decide one way or another if it is good or just plain silly. After the assassination of Ezio’s father and brothers, our fledgling hero whisks the female members of his family to Monteriggioni, in hopes of keeping them safe while he hunts down those responsible for ruining their lives. Once there, Mario Auditore, an uncle, hands over the running of the family fortress to Ezio’s baby sister, Claudia, as Ezio will be too busy with his training and quest for revenge to deal with the bookkeeping. In turn, she asks Ezio (that is to say, you) to determine which renovations to the villa and the surrounding town must be done in what order.

On the one hand, this is pretty neat, as with each improvement you make to the town, travelers and townspeople begin showing up when you wander the streets as a sort of living visual indicator of how Monteriggioni is seen in the eyes of the surrounding towns and cities. The better you make the town, the more attractive it looks to others as a tourist spot, and the more tourists show up, the more money you make.

On the other hand, while this seems pretty straight-forward, many will soon realize the in-game economy is rendered unbalanced by how much money you make from your real estate investments. Between the money made from missions, side quests, and treasure hunting (and the occasional romp as a pickpocket, which is a lot more amusing than it was the last go around), you’re already living the easy life. You’ll want for nothing, as you’ll be able to replenish your supplies or buy new armor on a whim before you’re halfway through the story. Add the income from Villa Auditore, and you’re not just swimming in florins, you’re practically drowning. Even if you buy up every weapon, set of armor, and painting available, and never let your supply of poisons and medicine drop below three-quarters full at any given time, you’ll still have more money than you know what to do with.

For this, I blame Claudia. Isn’t this what younger siblings are for, after all?

The WTF

As I alluded earlier, the tutorial system is much better than it used to be, which makes things easier to grasp for players new to the franchise. However, the “previously on Assassin’s Creed” style introduction to the overarching storyline was very weak, and left people like my husband (who had never played the previous installment) scratching their heads with a look on their faces that clearly said, “What the hell was that all about?”

Also in the realm of “what the fu--” plot-points is a set of side quests that leads you to something labeled “The Truth.” Subject 16, apparently not satisfied with leaving clues for you in truly sanguine ink upon his death, saw fit to encrypt certain memories recorded during his Animus sessions, obscuring their data to anyone other than another descendant. This in and of itself is pretty cool as far as gameplay mechanics go, since you can only find the twenty files by looking for strange glyphs on buildings within your genetic memories. (Though, how this is remotely possible, since he was dead before you even showed up at Abstergo, is anyone’s guess.) What makes this so weird is the freakish plot twist this throws into the mix. If you finish this series of mini-memories before completing the main mission line, it completely spoils the ending for you.

Which brings us to the wholly-unexpected ending of this beautiful opus. Ubisoft seems to have a penchant for mind-bending endings as of late, because the ending to the last game? It has nothing on the world-shattering information dropped in your lap this time. Again, won’t spoil it for you, but the running theme of “everything is not as it seems,” definitely holds true.

Verdict

It has often been said that one should not judge a sequel purely on the performance of its predecessor, and Assassin’s Creed 2 is a perfect example. Had I judged it unworthy of my time based solely on the merits (and pitfalls) of its ancestor, I would have missed out on a really great game. While my declarations on the previous title still stand, I would absolutely pay full price for this episode again if I had to do things over again. A new copy goes for $29.98 (with a used copy coming in at ten bucks less), and with improved, free-roaming gameplay, a compelling story, and dazzling visuals, I’d consider it money well spent.

Technical Difficulties

2010-12-02T12:03:00.000-08:00

As some of you can probably tell, the previous post has been randomly disappearing and reappearing since it went up. I'm fervently trying to figure out why this is happening, but it could take a bit before the issue is resolved. Please hang in there, and watch my Twitter feed or Facebook page for updates.

Thanks.

Game Review: Assassin's Creed

2010-12-02T11:01:00.001-08:00

Taking the term "stalker" to a whole new level.

Back in late 2007, two games came onto the video game scene that really grabbed my attention. The first was Mass Effect, BioWare’s role-playing game/third-person shooter hybrid, and Assassin’s Creed, Ubisoft Montreal’s first action-adventure title since their much-celebrated Prince of Persia trilogy came to a close two years earlier. These two titles came out within one week of each other, and from where I was standing at my retail job, they garnered a goodly chunk of the holiday shopping dollars spent that season.

To be perfectly frank, these two games were the entire reason I purchased an Xbox 360 in the first place. Up until then, most of the titles that had come out for both “next gen” consoles simply weren’t doing it for me. Too many first-person shooters and racing games (two genres that I will fully admit to being HORRIBLE at playing) for my liking, and not much in the way of role-playing games. Once these games were announced and subsequently released, however, I ran out of excuses: The time had come to upgrade, and upgrade, I did.

Mass Effect is one of my favorite games of all time. That, though, we will discuss at a later date. Today, we’re going to talk about Assassin’s Creed.

In Assassin’s Creed, you play Altair ibn La-Ahad, a member of the Hashshashin at the time of the Third Crusade. The Hashshashin, or Brotherhood of Assassins, are at war with a rival faction that has a familiar name but unfamiliar purpose: The Knights Templar. According to Altair’s mentor, Al Mualim, the Templars wish to bring about world peace by stripping mankind of their ability to think freely. To this end, they seek an artifact called the Apple, supposedly the same apple from the Garden of Eden. The Assassins, while also wishing for peace, feel that this plan is far too extreme (as how can one be human if he lacks free will?), and race to reach the Apple before their enemy can take over the world. As the Brotherhood’s top man, Altair’s job is to eliminate nine prominent Templars to not only ascertain the relic’s location, but to free the people of the Holy Land from fear and oppression.

There is more to the story, but I refuse to spoil it for you. So, while I won’t go into too much detail, I will say that as a method of driving the plot forward, it’s pretty darn unique and special.

Not entirely believable, mind you, but still pretty cool.

The Good

One of my biggest pet peeves in action-adventure and role-playing games is that maps usually leave much to be desired in terms of actually giving you information that helps you get from point A to point B in a quick-time fashion. I have thrown up my hands and rage-quit many a game simply because I couldn’t bloody well find my way through the terrain to my next destination. In many games, it feels like the maps are tacked on as an afterthought, and in some cases, are buried within menus so deeply you have to click through 4 or 5 layers to find it.

Not here.

I’m happy to say that Assassin’s Creed takes it’s cartography very seriously. Scattered throughout the Holy Land are Viewpoints, high points in the landscape that you climb up to in order to get the lay of the land. Literally. Once you’ve synchronized the area surrounding the Viewpoint, new things pop up on your map, and finding things you need (or just neat stuff to do) becomes much, much easier. Once you’re done surveying the scene in your immediate vicinity, it’s time to come down from your perch by performing a Leap of Faith. By holding down two buttons, Altair surges forward and performs an elegant swan dive with a half-gainer into a conveniently-placed pile of hay.

While that sounds like it would lose it’s novelty after the first dozen times, I can tell you right now it never gets old.

Viewpoints and the Leaps of Faith both tie into one of the more enjoyable parts of the game, which is the free-roaming exploration of a truly gorgeous open world. The team at Ubisoft Montreal really outdid themselves in this department, as I spent many, many hours clamoring up the sides of structures to the highest points of the game (Temple Mount and Church of the Holy Sepulcher were two of the most daunting) just so I could gaze upon the life-like recreation of 12th century Palestine. The panoramic views are positively show-stopping, and I don’t think I have seen anything more amazing in another game to date.

In terms of creating atmosphere, however, vistas do not do the whole of the job. In the open countryside, certainly, but in urban settings, you need more than pretty buildings to make the experience immersive. Thankfully, AC delivers a dynamic world that is full of surprises. As you’re running across rooftops and jumping from medieval construction platforms, people in the streets below will comment on the state of your mental health; if you rush past someone and knock them down in the street, they will yell and sometimes even give chase to cold-clock you for being rude; people speak with believable accents, either Middle Eastern or European (though most everyone is speaking English, sadly), depending on who controls which city at that point in the timeline; town criers inform the populace of the goings-on in the city and beyond as you walk by, and the topic changes depending on what assassination you’ve most recently committed. All of this, combined with the art design, gives the world a richness that can really suck you in.

"It is not a "dress"; it's called an abaya. Infidel."

Speaking of assassinations, I should pause here to note that the designers went to great lengths to ensure a certain degree of historical accuracy with the subject matter, and not just with the maps of the countryside and the layout of the cities, either. All nine of Altair’s targets lived, and either died or disappeared, at the time this story takes place. Each time you receive a new target, the game gives you the option of pushing a button to see more intelligence on the person in question, including some actual historical information. Not enough for my liking, mind you, but then again, not everyone is an amateur history nut like myself. The fact that they included this little feature at all is quite telling in terms of what they were hoping to accomplish with this piece.

Which, unfortunately, makes the failures of Assassin’s Creed all the more prominent.

The Bad

While this game does a lot of things right, it gets many more things wrong.

Few digital games have ever gotten the whole “stealth” thing hammered out to the point of being fun to play. The Thief series, as well as many Splinter Cell titles and last year’s Batman: Arkham Asylum, are the few shining examples of how stealth gameplay should go.

Notice I did not include Assassin’s Creed in that list.

There is a symbol at the upper-left-hand of your head’s up display (HUD, for short) that indicates your. . .for lack of a better term, we’ll call it ‘notoriety’. It’s pretty basic in it’s execution, as white means ‘no one gives a crap about what you’re doing’, yellow means ‘someone has taken notice of your shenanigans and you might want to tone it down a bit’, and red means ‘pick an exit strategy tout suite or risk becoming shish kabob’. By itself, it isn’t all that annoying. The things you have to do to get back into ‘anonymous’ status, however, can prove to be quite exasperating.

Once you've been "made," you need to break line of sight with your persuers so that you can hide until the heat is off. Methods of hiding run from the traditional, such as diving into piles of hay or covered rooftop gardens, to the in-plain-sight variety, by blending in with wandering groups of hooded scholars or citizens lounging on park benches. This sounds simple enough, but in reality, it can prove to be infuriatingly difficult.

See, as much as the Puppeteering System (Ubi’s name for the control scheme) can make for fun exploration, when it comes to running for your life, it leaves much to be desired. There are times that the face buttons don’t register that you’re using them, and when you’re running full-tilt in hopes of hiding in one of those aforementioned conveniently-placed piles of hay until the coast is clear, lining up your jumps isn’t exactly easy. More often than not, you wind up faceplanting onto the side of a church or into the packed-dirt alleyways below, and waiting for the game to reload so you can try again.

This is another place where the game flounders: Loading times. In the beginning, the loading times are noticeable in length, but not so much so that they can’t be shrugged off once you’re back in the thick of things. Once you get halfway to two-thirds of the way toward completing the game, however, the loading times get to be so long that I literally found myself tapping my foot in irritation when I left to get a bottle of water and a granola bar from the kitchen, checked the mail, gave each of my dogs a scritch behind the ear, and came back to find the game was still loading. Five bloody minutes or more for a loading sequence? On a next-gen console? Are you kidding me? I’ve got things to do, Ubisoft. Yeesh!

Of course, once you’re back in the game itself, some of this can be forgiven. What can’t be forgiven, really, is the combat system. I bought this game because Ubi promised that I could sneak around and shove a hidden blade into the throats of wrong-doers and slink away unnoticed; I did not sign up to engage in hack-and-slash fights where I am severely outnumbered and can’t disengage a target with any amount of ease. Hell, if these battles were truly hack-and-slash in nature, I’d be all over it like gravy on a biscuit. But these situations amount to holding down the ‘counterattack’ button for ten minutes running with little opportunity to run away. Not cool, Ubi. Not cool.

And while we’re on the subject, it should be mentioned that you can’t upgrade any of your equipment in this game. Your health meter increases as you progress through the game, as do the number and types of weapons you carry (I’m especially fond of the throwing knives, myself), but that’s about it. There are no shops where can load up on throwing knives (you have to pickpocket a certain type of NPC to get more of those), there are no health potions or poultices to heal yourself after a nasty fight (you have to wait for your meter to slowly regenerate), and the armor you start with is the armor you end with, which doesn’t say much given that it’s purely aesthetic.

The WTF

Now, these gripes pale in comparison to some of the truly mind-blowingly awful things you encounter in Assassin's Creed. When I say "mind-blowingly awful" things, I don't mean in the "grotesque and thought-provoking" kind of occurrences that games like, say, BioShock, dole on an hourly basis; I'm referring to those sorts of things that make you want to scream with frustation until your throat is raw and bloody. Granted, this is purely subjective, but I know for a fact I'm not the only one who feels this way.

The assassinations themselves are fun, but the lead up is slow and arduous at the best of times. As a way of making the player understand all the planning and research that must go into a pre-meditated, politically-motivated murder, it accomplishes this goal quite nicely. The player has to pull off at least two out of four "investigations" before the assassination assignment will unlock. To gather information, you can eavesdrop, pick someone's pocket, beat intel out of an informant, and talk to fellow Brotherhood members throughout the city for help. The eavesdropping and pickpocketing are actually kind of neat, since stealth is what this game is supposed to be about, and the "interrogations" are pretty standard beat-em-up fare, which brings a nice change of pace when you get tired of running from guards all day. The things you have to do get information from your informants, though, definitely rank high on the "what were they thinking" scale.

Most of the time, you have to engage in a footrace, gather flags that have been "dropped" throughout the city, or eliminate some thugs that are out for your stool pigeon's blood, all without being "detected". These missions are timed, and given the control scheme issues outlined previously, you might have to try a dozen times just to get one piece of intel that could prove valuable. . .or could prove to be completely worthless. Maddening is the most accurate word that comes to mind to describe these missions, and eventually, most players will wind up skipping them altogether in favor of the other three investigations. This is a shame, as some of the informants dole out drips and drabs of conversation that give you an insight to Altair's past, but those aren't worth the level of effort you're forced to exert.

As to more things that aren't worth the effort, remember I mentioned the beautiful open world you get to play in? It has a major flaw: There is hardly a bloody, blessed thing to do while you're in it. Each city and the Kingdom (which is the designers' name for all that is depicted on your map) have a set of flags that you can collect while you're running around. . .and that's it. There are Viewpoints to scale, as well, but after the first few tries end in you getting skewered by the blade-happy AI, you just give up caring about those parts of the map and ignore them altogether.

The AI system, which is what controls your non-playable characters or NPCs, is so bad at times it makes you want to fling your controller into the screen. Sometimes, you can walk right up to a guard on a rooftop and stab him in the face before he even finishes telling you that you shouldn't be up there. Conversely, there are times when you'll have scouted out the area and found only one guard standing between you and where you want to be, and start scaling the side of a tower on the opposite side from where he's standing, and he manages to see you anyway. Then he calls his stupid guard buddies to his aid and you fall to the ground below because he broke your concentration by throwing a rock at you.

Really? A badass assassin, brought down by a piece of broken masonry?

As to that 'badass' label, methinks it was prematurely given to our pal Altair, and I say this for one reason: He can't swim.

And now we know why Alti always froze when he was dared to use the high dive board.

No, you read that right. He was trained from birth to stab first and ask questions later, yet, he falls into a canal and he's done for. I don't think I have to tell you how much of a buzz kill that can be, as there is much more water in the arid Holy Land than one is led to believe by school books.

Speaking of our intrepid hero, he's actually not that great a guy. Yes, he fights to right wrongs and all that malarkey, but when you first meet Altair ibn La-Ahad, he's coming off a collossal screwup of his own making that leaves a target alive and one of the Brotherhood dead, yet, he's not the least bit sorry . Nor does he seem to learn from this mistake in a meaningful way during the 10-15 (or so) hours you spend in his boots. I understand the concept of an anti-hero, but The Son of No One (as his name roughly translates to) sort of falls short of that category, too. This leaves the protagonist in a sort of character limbo, giving no clear picture as to whether we should love him or hate him, which in turn leaves the player feeling rather unfulfilled, story-wise.

Going back to gameplay, there are two methods for travel in this world, the shoe-leather express, or a horse. One would think riding a horse would make things easier, but to be perfectly honest, I avoided these beautifully-rendered beasts at all costs. See, the hair-trigger AI ruins yet another potentially-satisfying aspect of the game by hunting you down if you so much as canter, much less gallop. The only option to avoid detection is to walk your horse at a snail's pace, and in that case, why the hell bother?

Then there's the NPCs. Most of them don't do anything more than get in the way when you're running from the authorities, but the lepers and beggar women really work your last nerve. During one mission, outside of a Templar-run Medieval hospital, I was trying to sneak past the guards to reach the area below a broken window, and got pushed into a 4.5 minute chase by a leper who wouldn't leave me be. You get too close to one of these guys, and they push and punch you relentlessly, until you can't take it anymore and you haul off and punch them. This is frowned upon by the city's military, apparently, as this sometimes sets them off. The next thing you know, you're a kilometer away from where you started, and have to sneak and jump your way back to square one.

Why then, you ask, don't you simply stab them and be done with it? Well, dear reader, the game frowns up this and punishes you for it, as the first part of the assassin's creed (see what I did there?) states you must never kill an innocent. You take out a leper or a beggar woman who won't stop whining about her lot in life or any Mahmoud, Ali, or Ada who gets in your way, and the game sends you back to a loading screen with a sound verbal reprimand.

Thanks, Mom.

Lastly, the ending is. . .well, again, I won't ruin if for you, but it truly stands up to the label on this section of the review. I'm all for leaving things open-ended if you're going to make a sequel, but there are limits. To work all that way through the game, only to find out. . .

Oops. Almost spilled it. Best to walk away before I say more.

Verdict

Given that you can now grab a new copy of Assassin’s Creed for roughly $20 (or a used copy for half that price), it wouldn’t hurt your wallet overly much to give this game a try. However, unless you’re a completionist and simply MUST play every title in a series (or you're some sort of masochist, which, hey, more power to you), you could easily skip over this installment and go straight for the sequel without missing much.

Besides, if you really want to see how it ends, there's always YouTube.

ChristmaHannaKwanzaYule

2010-11-30T18:45:00.000-08:00

Long time, no see. I won't go into too many details as to why I've been absent from the interwebz for so long, but suffice it to say that had I been able to function properly, I would never have left. However, I will give you two bits of info for you to mull over.

One, there are certain things I am not allowed to discuss due to the fact that I work for GameStop. As such, my topics for blog entries has been truncated drastically due to mandates handed down from corporate. Much as I love talking shop with all of you, I like my W4 job more. Makes the mortgage company more likely to say yes to a construction loan. So, I stayed quiet while I figured out what I was going to do about all this.

Two, breathing, as it turns out, is really, really important to staying alive. My body had apparently forgotten this particular detail, which has made the last several months rather. . .difficult. But, here I am. Did you miss me?

*pregnant pause*

Yeah, I missed you guys, too. All eight of you.

So, the holiday season is upon us. Anyone who ventured out into the dark, cold, whimsically decorated worldscape known as The Mall this past Friday, be it as consumer or worker (or sometimes both), knows this to be true. With it come the usual trappings: Gut-checking the guy racing you for the last Kinect bundle, eating too much pie, and of course, TV specials. Many a cable channel is boasting they're the place to be for "25 days of holiday cheer!"

I say, "Bah! Humbug!"

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE this time of year. No one looks at you funny for eating fried food eight days straight (thank you, Hannukah!), wearing a silly pointed hat in public is completely acceptable, and I get to shower my loved ones with love, attention, and gifts.

Honestly, that's my favorite part. Giving someone a present I spent hours choosing and wrapping perfectly, and seeing his or her eyes light up after they rip it open gives me a multitude of warm fuzzies.

If that's the case, why my Scrooge-like exclamation above, you ask?

Because as much as I love the Giftmas season, seasonal entertainment has gotten stale.

The classics, like Frosty and Rudolf and good old Jack Frost, always bring a smile to my face. Even the ones I've dubbed to be "new classics," such as the film "Jingle All the Way," The Fairly Oddparents holiday hit, "Christmas Every Day," and Danny Phantom's "The Fright Before Christmas," get me into the spirit faster than a barrel filled with eggnog-laced Captain Morgan ever could. But some of these newer attempts by networks (I'm looking at you, ABC Family) to force holiday cheer down our throats feel. . .well, forced. They use big names, be them older television stars or more recent box-office standbys, to try and grab as much attention as possible and then. . .

And then fall flat on their faces with stories that boring at best, or completely saccharine and melodramatic at worst. (Note that these two ideas are not mutually exclusive. I will NOT, however, note any specific examples. I'd like my eggnog-rum to remain in my belly, thank you very much.)

Television has been disappointing us for years now, though I will admit there have been some great new additions to the normal schedule of stupid frat-boy humor, primetime soap operas and medical/crime procedurals. Even so, cutting the cable was the best idea my husband and I ever had, and I don't regret it, thanks in no small part to Hulu and Netfilx. That said, rather than try to dig up old copies of holiday fare that I love, I'm avoiding my usual tradition of "A Holiday Special A Day 'Til Giftmas," altogether this year (since my soul belongs to GameStop until January 3rd, anyway) in favor of my favorite pastime: Playing video games.

That decision got me to thinking about this blog, and led to a very fascinating idea: Instead of 25 Days of Stupid Holiday TV Movies. . .how about 25 Days of Game Reviews?

It is a daunting idea, to be sure, but I feel that my sluggish brain could use a good challenge before the New Year. I won't give away what games will be reviewed here over to the next 3 weeks (as I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise!), but I can tell you, dear reader, that there will be a fair bit of variety to be found, here. First-person shooters vs. role-playing games, consoles vs. PC vs. handheld, indie vs. mainstream, disc-based vs. downloadable. I'm not shying away from anything if I can possibly help it, and help, I have garnered, in form of 3 guest bloggers who will show up sometime between now and December 25th.

Consider this my Giftmas present to the intertubes, since they have given me so much over the years.

Thank you, interwebz. For everything.

P.S.--And no, I'm NOT telling you who will be gracing us with their presence. That would spoil it.

P.P.S--Nope, still not telling.

P.P.P.S--What, are you one of those people who likes to tell kids in line at Macy's that Santa isn't real, and give away the ends to movies to the people seated in front of you at the theater as the lights go down? Shame on you!

Women in Games at E3 – Thursday, June 17

2010-06-10T09:20:00.000-07:00

De-lurking to share some E3 2010 info with you on behalf of IGDA Women in Games. Enjoy. :)

Frag Dolls Photo Shoot of Women in Games at E3

IGDA Women in Games and Women in Games International invite you to participate in the upcoming Ubisoft photo shoot of “women in games’ E3 2010, hosted by the Frag Dolls. Scheduled for Thursday, June 17 at 9:30 am, all women in the games industry attending E3 are invited to show up at the south side of the plaza in front of South Hall, located at Pico and Figueroa. The photo shoot will only take a few moments, so be sure to show up on time!

This potentially historic photo is a reprise of the Frag Dolls invitation in 2006 to all females in the gaming industry for the first annual group photo of women at E3. Along with our partners and sponsors, we will be gathering together as many industry and gamer females as possible for this event to demonstrate the significant presence of women in gaming. Spread the word to every woman you know in games, student or professional…we want to see you there!

Free Verse: Talking 'Bout Failure, Modding, and Fan Fiction

2010-04-05T11:03:00.001-07:00

Notes: I'm completely winging this post, as I've got to get this out of my system before I get ready for the night shift. I will get around to finishing my thoughts on The Force Unleashed, I swear. Just not this week, since Triangle Game Conference is less than two days away.
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Back in February, I mentioned on Twitter the C.H.A.T. Festival, a conference hosted by the University at North Carolina. C.H.A.T. stands for "Collaboration of Humanities and Technology. " There were a lot of great talks, from games as medium all the way to the redefining the term "gamer,", but the one that sticks out the most nearly 2 months later was the panel on Games & Storytelling.

One of the gentlemen working on Splinter Cell: Conviction (and I promise I'll dig out my notes from the panel and name names later), mentioned the difficulty of shoehorning a game plot into the existing mythos of an established intellectual property. In this case, of course, he was talking about the world created by Tom Clancy. While he quipped that creating something true to the 'universe' often takes lots and lots of scotch to accomplish, he also said (in all seriousness) that it takes lots of practice.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but that quote kept rolling around in my head for weeks afterward, and I hit upon a truth that I'm not sure a lot of people have discovered: Creating fan fiction is to writing what modding is to game design.

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

Let me explain some things before the lot of you turn tail and run away screaming. I promise it will all make sense. You just have to hang in there with me.

. . . . . .

. . . . . .

Settled? Alrighty, then.

Whenever you talk to professionals at conferences about how to break into the video game business, the first thing 90% of these folks will tell you is to pick up a game engine, and start modding. Use an existing tool to create something new and original, and polish the bejeezus out of it. Then, show it to people you're networking with and hope someone thinks it deems you worthy of a shot at a games industry job. This is sound, time-tested advice, and it shouldn't be ignored. However, there is something the other 10% of professionals will say that often gets glossed over: Make games for yourself.

This advice is very valuable, though it may not seem like it until long after you've convinced someone to give you your shot at glory. (Or at least let you into the QA department to try and break every game they shove in your face until you've proven your worth.) Not everything you create is going to be a masterpiece. I doubt sincerely that Van Gogh got "Starry Night," right on the first try. Game design is no different. You have to physically try new things in order to get comfortable with the process, and with trying new things comes failure. That may sound bad, but failure is NOT a dirty word. If you think it is, then you need a little change in perspective.

Possibly kick-started by a boot to the head, but that's neither here nor there.

You learn a lot more from failure than you do from success, so feeling shame for all of your misfires and blunders is far from necessary and could be downright harmful to your creative process. (Continuously missing deadlines or breaking promises? Yeah, go ahead and hang your head for that stuff. Just not this.) Embrace failure as the learning opportunity it is, and move on. You don't have to forget them; you just have to forgive yourself for them.

Constantly, novelists, script writers and filmmakers tell us junior ink-jockeys to write for ourselves. They remind us that no one can take writing away from us, and that it costs us nothing (financially) to dive into it head-first in the privacy of our own home offices. For some of us, though, the idea of jumping into anything head-first without nose plugs and floaties scares us half to death just thinking it. Well, fan-generated fiction for popular shows and book series is great way to stick your toes into the writing waters without fear of getting swallowed by what lies in the dark depths below.

Yes, there is a LOT of really awful fan fiction out there, filled with stupid, half-assed ideas and enough Mary Sues to fill Mile High Stadium. However, there are a lot of examples of stellar writing in that community, too, so one shouldn't toss out the entire bushel for fear of a few bad apples. Writing fan fiction can help you take a shot at that notion I mentioned above, shoehorning a new story into an existing universe. If you can successfully craft a tale that fits into all the lore an intellectual property has to offer (later attempts at retroactive continuity notwithstanding), then you've got it made! You'll know for a fact you can do it on a larger scale should you get hired as a writer, and that confidence in your skills will make you much more attractive to studios shopping around for good pen monkeys.

Whether it will help you pick up hot chicks or dudes at after-parties remains to be seen. But, hey, it certainly couldn't hurt.

You will not accomplish anything if you don't try. Sure, trying something new is scary, but it can be thrilling, too. So conventional methods, such as going for a computer science degree or taking a creative writing course might not be your style; there's nothing wrong with that. If unconventional methods can get you to actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard), then by all means, go for it! Sure, your first few attempts at making something solid will probably crash and burn, but that's all part of the process. Rather than berate yourself for wasting your time (which you most certainly haven't), take pride in the fact that you're willing to do what it takes to get where you want to go. Naysayers be damned.

OT: IT CAME FROM NETFLIX

2010-03-12T11:21:00.000-08:00

Many of you may know that I am friends with Josh Loomis, our friendly neighborhood alchemist. What you may not know is that he's the creative mind behind the movie review series "IT CAME FROM NETFLIX."

Here's a crash course in what IT CAME FROM NETFLIX (ICFN, for short) is all about. Like many of us, Mr. Loomis can't always afford the time or duckets for a trip to the local cinema. Also like many of us, he relies on the ever-handy service known as Netflix to help him fill his downtime with something other than contemplations concerning his belly button.* What makes him stand out from the herd, though, is his ability to review selections from their catalog with humor, intelligence, and more than a little sarcasm.

Whether he's ripping apart a movie most people find popular or praising a film most of us have never even heard of, Josh never fails to entertain and enlighten his readers (and listeners, as there is now a corresponding audio supplement for every review) concerning the joys and pitfalls of film making, script writing, and movie watching. He also never misses an opportunity to make us all dig just a little bit deeper into the given subject matter to behold (and hopefully better understand) what lies beneath the surface rather than settling to simply take it at face value.

As such, I have become a regular consumer of his movie reviews, and when an opportunity came along to support his website and ICFN (and by extension, the writer himself), I jumped at it. Not long ago, Josh started taking review requests for specific films and television shows, and also made it known that monetary contributions were welcome. Without much delay, I plunked down my hard-won GameStop earnings for the chance to see Josh rip into one of the most awful films I've watched in long, long time: Jumper.

Ladies and gents, I make minimum wage at aforementioned job, and I had to work 3.5 hours just to pay for that review. The verdict? It was money very well spent. I highly recommend you go read and/or listen to his catalog of reviews, because if you're going to spend time idly clicking around the internet, you might as well spend it on something more worthwhile than LOLcats and Avatar porn.

If you have some spare change, or just a movie you'd like reviewed, I'd shoot Mr. Loomis an email. I promise you won't regret it.

Oh, and click through some of the ads on his site for good measure. We writers/reviewers/artists/imbeciles/ne'er-do-wells can't continue to deliver the goods if we starve. Just sayin'.

*If you understood that reference and where it came from, you officially rock my socks.

Open Thread: Game Recommendations

2010-03-06T09:03:00.000-08:00

For some reason, I completely forgot to mention that I now work as a counter jockey at my local GameStop. The pay is crap, and the hours are scarce, but my managers are great, and it's a W4 job that looks good to mortgage companies.

Plus, it keeps me out of trouble.

Well, mostly.

The gig has more going for it than that, really. Besides a discount on GameStop purchases and discounts at partner stores (free refills all day long at Chick-fil-A? 30% merchandise at Barnes & Noble?? Sign me up!), there are a few hidden perks. The most noteworthy of these perks is the Employee Game Checkout program. I can check out any game in the store for free, for a period of 4 days.

*chirp*

*ribbit*

Let me repeat that for those of you sitting in the back of the class: ANY game in the store. 4 days at a time. NO COST to me.

Needless to say (but I'm going to anyway), this is huge! I was lamenting the fact I couldn't afford to perform due diligence on cross-platform games, due to the cost, and BAM! A solution presents itself. I can now try out the PlayStation and Xbox versions of most any game, as long as my store has it in stock. I can finally be a more well-rounded gamer! WOOHOO!

However, I now face a new dilemma. I have no idea what the fuzzy should I be playing.

I've already checked out Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2, but the jury is still out as to how I feel about it. Having only made it to Mission 2, I don't feel I've given it a fair shake. Snagged a copy of Rainbow Six: Vegas, too, but life has gotten in the way of my actually trying it out, and it's due back at the store by the end of today. (According to Raptr, John tried it while I was at work the other night. He wasn't impressed. There was rage-quitting involved. . .and there's a new hole in the bedroom wall. You do the math. )

Then, my Thought Hamsters got my attention. That is to say, I took a Clue-by-Four to the temple. "You have a blog," their placards read. "Why not ask the readers, genius?"

While their methods. . .leave something to be desired at times, the rodents are right. I'm not writing these posts for my health. (Okay, perhaps for my mental health, but I'm pretty sure I am too far gone for the exercise to be all that effective.) I open the floor to you: What do you guys and gals suggest I play?

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P.S.--To clarify, we don't carry used PC games, so PC-only games are out of the running. Sorry, folks.

P.P.S.--Also, I don't own a Wii. Because I'm lame, obviously.

First Impressions, Part 2--Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

2010-03-05T14:58:00.001-08:00

I confess, it wasn't my intention to come off as an overbearing shrew in my last post on this topic. Once I got started, though, all the pent-up disappointment in regard to what has happened to the Star Wars universe boiled over, and I got a little carried away. This does not mean I retract my previous statements on this game. I'm simply saying that I probably could have handled things better. But, too late now! The tone's been set, and far be it from me to pull punches when I was the one who started the fight.

Also, I neglected to throw out my standard Your Mileage May Vary disclaimer. Yes, I still think people who say this game is brilliant should have their heads examined, but that's just my opinion. Everyone is entitled to their own, and has the right to completely disregard mine.

One more thing of note before we dive back in. You may have noticed I struck through the "First" in the title of this and the previous post on The Force Unleashed. This whole. . .thing in regard to the game has become something bordering on obsession, so "first impressions," just didn't really fit anymore. "Review" also didn't really fit, as I've made it personal policy not to review games I haven't actually finished playing. (Given a lot of the stuff in my play pile, this policy may change, but that's a horse of a different color.) So, plain old "impressions," will have to do.

Old Business: More on Menus and Controls

Leveling Woes

Something I failed to mention previously was character and skill leveling. Such things are borrowed from role-playing games, and while RPGs are my second-favorite genre of console game, I admit the leveling and inventory systems utilized by some are very confusing to me. Sometimes I'm just too tired to give a damn, but most of the time it is a symptom of a problem I come across a lot as a game tester: Information Strain.

Try to cram too much information in too little space, the player will strain to retain it all, his eyes will glaze over, and he'll decide to do something less complicated, like re-read War and Peace. Fail to provide enough information, the player strains to grasp what the hell you want from him, and he'll curse you to the previously undiscovered 10th ring of Hell because the 9th ring is too good for the likes of you. In my opinion, SW: TFU suffers from the latter.

Perhaps I'm totally inept 1, but the little bit of info they provided for each Force ability was easily forgotten by the time I closed the sub-menu. Choosing what I wanted to spend my hard-won experience points on was about as easy as a man choosing the right breast pump for the mother of his children with no relevant data handy. And while we're on the subject of experience, you gain XP in two ways, primarily via natural game progression, but also by picking up ~~magical McGuffins~~ Holocrons filled with Force points. You then spend those points on abilities that fall into three categories. . .whose titles currently escape me. (Note to self: Find out which dog chewed up my notebook. I'm looking at you, Oddball 2.)

Having more than one way to gain XP is good. . .except when these McGuffins are in impossible-to-reach places, and the Force doesn't affect them. That's right: Someone took the "hologram" part of "holocron" very seriously. Unlike in BioShock, where you can fetch unreachable objects via telekinesis, you must physically touch these things in order to reap the rewards. Granted, you don't have to collect these little do-dads in order to progress, but they are more than a wee bit useful if you can knab them.

Please understand, I'm not against jumping puzzles as a concept. Half-Life 2, for example, has amazing jumping puzzles. Using this mechanic in your game is fine and dandy, unless you manage to design these jumping puzzles very badly. Oh, and force us to accomplish amazing acrobatic feats with an uncooperative camera and sluggish controls. If this is the case, instead of rabidly consuming your game and begging for more, I will round up a legion of pissed off gamers ready to tar and feather you for your act of game design hubris. Simply put, I think this particular issue was a missed opportunity to give players more ways to play around with the Force powers available to them.

Not-Quite Mortal Combat

The hack-and-slash part of the combat works just fine. If the targeting worked better (or I could find a way to de-select Auto Target), I would go so far as to call it "adequate." I contend, however, that the Combo List that goes with many of the lightsaber-related abilities is just plain unhelpful. Honestly, I hate combo lists in general. If I wanted to spend my time memorizing complicated sequences of button presses, I'd play Soul Calibur or Street Fighter, thank you very much. To my own credit, I did try to learn all the combos available to me once I unlocked new abilities, but after a while I wound up doing what I always do in these situations: Mashing the hell out of the Square or Triangle button until no enemies remained. Boring, sure, but somewhat effective.

Some of you are probably saying, "Well, you could have just looked up the combos mid-battle via the menu screen." First of all, didn't we just have a short conversation on breaking the flow of gameplay? Secondly, you're right, and I probably would have done just that had the menu screen not required long loading times just to open and close the damn thing. No, you read that right. A next-gen game's menu screen required a loading sequence. Really, LucasArts? REALLY?

I might be overreacting, but if the designers themselves had not confessed to essentially dumbing things down for people who are unfamiliar with or just plain suck at action-oriented video games, I would be far less upset. Okay, "dumbing down" is a harsh term to use, but good grief. There is a difference between "making things accessible," and "trying to please everyone." You wanted to make this game the virtual version of approachable to garner more players (and by extension, make more money.) Instead, you wound up pleasing next to no one with crappy mechanics and bad controls. Great job breaking it, dumbass.

And don't even get me started on the story. OYE!

Wow, got long-winded again. Cutting it off here to save your scrolling finger. Stay tuned for Part 3: The Rest of the Story!

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1--Not likely, but I'm willing to concede I am far from perfect.
2--Though, to be fair, Max isn't exactly above suspicion.

Transfer Update

2010-03-04T15:38:00.000-08:00

I've got writing to do, so I promise to make this quick so I can get the next bit of entertainment in the pipeline and out into the intertubes very soon.

WordPress is. . .a very different animal than those I've worked with previously. He's a might bit secretive in how to bring out his best assets, and more than a little stubborn when it comes to taking direction. We're making progress, though. The going is slow, but progress is progress.

Until I get all the kinks worked out (or at the very least, we come to some sort of compromise, this new partner and I), I'm going to continue making updates here at Blogger.

That said, away we go!

This Will All End in Tears

2010-02-26T08:44:00.001-08:00

Goodness, I certainly hope not.

My weekly blog post will be a might bit late this time around, my friends. Reason being, I'm SICK TO DEATH of Blogger's shenanigans. There's a huge long list of problems, but the inability to reply to comments for no apparent reason this morning was the last damn straw.

So, we're taking this party to WordPress. For the next month or so, I will post notices here about updates at the webpage. However, if you don't already follow me on Twitter, you may wish to remedy that soon, as that's the first place I announce new blog updates.

On a related note, I have never used WordPress in my life. Needless to say, from what little I know about it already from research, it has a lot more buttons and functions than I'm used to. I beg your collective pardon, my dear readers, for all the inevitable mistakes I will make as I navigate this new publishing tool.

As always, thank you for reading, and my apologies for the inconvenience.

First Impressions, Part 1: Star Wars, The Force Unleashed

2010-02-19T10:47:00.000-08:00

Who wouldn't be distracted by that? Doesn't it look like fun?

For the last 10 days, I have been struggling to write my review for The Saboteur. Short version, I greatly enjoyed it, faults and all. So you might be asking why it is so damn difficult to write that in essay form, genius, if you like it so much?

Believe me, dear readers, I've been asking myself that same question for more than a week. Was it the distraction of attending the UNC C.H.A.T. Festival? Was it all the time that preparing for a new job entails? I couldn't put my finger on it, though, until last night: I've got Star Wars The Forced Unleashed on the brain.

During the d'Adesky Q4 Game Consumption Frenzy of 2009, I grabbed a copy of this game for a few reasons. One, I really like the Star Wars universe. Two, the idea of occasionally playing as "the bad guy," is intriguing. Lastly, I read somewhere this particular game won a Writers Guild of America award for Best Video Game Writing.

Um, was everyone who liked The Force Unleashed playing the same game I am? Or did someone at GameStop decide to swap the game disc for a parody of the game and I'm just being punk'd? Regardless of the answer, I think all of those fans are insane, because this game is just bloody awful.

First Things First: Controls, Menus, and Other Management Stuff

For those of you who didn't play the demo, Force Unleashed is basically a hack-and-slash game with ~~magic~~ Force-wielding elements added for some extra fun. This is one of the few things about the game that I enjoyed, but is definitely far from perfect. Being able to wield lightning, infuse my ~~sword~~ lightsaber with electricity, or knock enemies away with a Force push is hugely satisfying. Force Grip, on the other hand, isn't nearly as much fun as it could have been because of the way they mapped the controls.

The problem is rather than keep things simple, someone on the design team thought it would be great to map one analog stick for horizontal movement and the other stick for vertical movement. This means in order to throw a Stormtrooper off a bridge or throw a truck-sized boulder into a sniper's nest, I have to first hold the R2 button, then navigate the object I'm holding with both hands and let 'er rip, all before my Force meter bleeds dry.

Oh, did I mention you get a finite amount of Force energy in the game? It works like a mana bar, essentially, and depending on what you're trying to do, that meter runs out FAST. Yes, it regenerates, but unless you squeeze a boatload of Force Points in a certain stat slot, that regeneration can be painfully slow.

This also means that if I use a Force-heavy power, such as Force Burst (which knocks back all the enemies in your immediate vicinity) I'm out of juice for several agonizing seconds. In the middle of a fight, this is very, very bad, as the only edge you have on most of the enemies in the game is your ability to use the Force.

Another thing of note about the controls is the targeting. Oh, good grief, the targeting. Sometimes, the best way to deal with a bogey is from distance, either because he's in an unreachable spot (like aforementioned sniper's nest) or because he's big and bad and if he gets too close, he'll squish you into a paste fit only for feeding his pet bantha. This means Force Gripping a heavy object and flinging it at him. As battlefields are rarely static, in the time it takes you to line up the shot, more enemies will close on your position, the autotarget will engage before you even realize it and you let loose your carefully prepared attack on the wrong damn guy.

As if that wasn't bad enough, if you're trying to use the Force to move an object to create a makeshift bridge or something, you have to be at a very precise angle to target said object in the first place, making things very frustrating. This results in more than a few accidental deaths and a flood of profanity.

That, oddly enough, brings me to another point: The File Save System. Very few games, in my opinion, strike the right balance between autosaves and manual saves. Some rely strictly on an autosave function, so you're at the mercy of checkpoints, while others don't autosave nearly often enough. In those situations, you'd better save after every single frakking confrontation, cut scene, and dialogue exchange, or you will be SCREWED when it comes time to reload after a boneheaded mistake.

At first, The Force Unleashed seems to have a workable (if not overly fantastic) balance between the two, by autosaving at pre-determined checkpoints but still allowing you the option to manually save in the menu screen. That seems to be the case, anyway, until you try saving in between those checkpoints and then hit 'resume' after that first trip into a lava flow.

Even if you choose to go back to the main menu to reload instead of choosing 'resume, it puts you right back at your last checkpoint, like you'd never even bothered to save the game in the first place. Here's a tip for game developers: DO NOT GIVE ME THE OPTION TO SAVE MY GAME IF YOU ARE GOING TO IGNORE IT. Why include it at all if you're just going to reload a checkpoint instead? LucasArts, did you guys originally plan to let players manually save their games, but pulled it at the last moment and simply forgot to erase that option from the menu screen? If so, SLOPPY. If not, SCREW YOU.

*ahem*

While discussing this game with my buddy Sam yesterday, number three on my list of biggest pet peeves in video games came up: The Quick-Time Event. For those of you new to video games, the Quick-Time Event (QTE for short) is a game mechanic that allows a developer to include pre-rendered cinematic sequences in a game while allowing the player to maintain a monicum of control over what's happening through on-screen button prompts. The most noteworthy examples of good QTE utilization are Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones and the God of War franchise. Those sequences were so well done that nearly every other instance of the mechanic pales by comparison. That may be setting the bar unfairly high. . .actually, no. No it isn't. You know why?

It isn't an unfair standard because those were games from the last console generation. You cannot convince me that game design cannot improve or at least maintain that level of functionality now that we're midway through the latest hardware cycle. If this is supposed to be "the new revolution in game design," then how can you settle for being outdone by games that were developed for (supposedly) inferior hardware?

Anyway. . .

Why is the inclusion QTEs important to this discussion, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you. When it comes to hack-and-slash games, there is no good reason I should have to resort to a sequence of button presses to take down a monster. Now, while the game does allow you to kill a boss-level character the old fashioned way, the likelihood of you surviving long enough to deliver the killing blow in this game is slim at best, mostly due to sluggish response time from the controls. As such, you're practically required to rely on the quick-time events in order to finish a battle and move on to the next level. To paraphrase a reviewer I admire, "this feels more like a battle of fucking attrition than meaningful gameplay."

To put it less than eloquently, that sort of thing drives me apeshit bananas. I'm a professional game tester, for the love of cute fuzzy puppies. I'm not saying that I'm the best there is, but if I get paid to play games, you better believe that I'm not your average controller jockey. This should NOT be that damn hard for me since I do it almost EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Granted, after a long day at work, my reaction time is slower than it would be were I well-rested and pumped full of caffeine, but riddle me this, Gilligan: If the professional in the room is having trouble getting through your game, how do you think Jane Q. Gamer is going to fare? Food for thought.

Originally, this was going to be a single post on my first impressions of the game. Seeing how long this post has become, though, I'm going to be nice and divide this rant in half. Stay tuned for Part 2!

Gamus Interuptus, or "What's With All the Cut Scenes?"

2010-02-09T17:34:00.000-08:00

**SPOILER WARNING: I talk about several recent game releases in the latter half of this post, so if you've not played Uncharted 2, the Modern Warfare games, or the God of War series, (but plan to eventually) you'll want to avoid the area between the asterisks.

I just don't understand why people have such a problem with cut scenes in video games.

The advent of the cut scene (or "game cinematic" as it is commonly called these days) was huge way back when. The ability to see your favorite video game characters fleshed out in a well-defined way, as opposed to those heavily pixelated renderings offered to us in-game, was nothing short of mind-blowing. Even before sound effects and voice overs were prevalent, these cinematics offered an additional way to relay story elements to the player and to drive the story along.

These days, the argument has been made that cut scenes are no longer needed. Some say these cinematics are the hallmark of the last console generation (or three) and they should be abandoned so that game design can evolve further. "They break the flow of the gameplay," some cry. "They take scenes that would be fun to play through and relegates the player to the backseat," shout others.

Me? I think people are looking at this issue from the wrong angle.

Look. Games are not the only place where "flow" is broken for any number of reasons. Every time I'm forced to put down a novel I'm reading to take a phone call or go to sleep, the flow of the story is broken. Every time I have to pause a movie or TV show on DVD to tend to a pot of pasta boiling over or let the dog out, the flow is broken. Every time I'm about to hand someone their ass in a game of Clue, and someone accidentally spills a glass of Dr. Pepper across the table. . .well, you get the idea.

Video games are no different. Every time you pause a game to visit the little space marine's room or grab another can of Red Bull, you're breaking the flow of gameplay. Why should cut scenes get all the blame? (Boring, repetitive, or ridiculous game mechanics, on the other hand, should get more flak, but that's another rant for another time.)

I LOVE cut scenes. Want to know why?

I may be showing my age, here, but I love cut scenes because my hands get tired and having a reason to let go of the controller or mouse (BioWare games not withstanding, obviously) for a moment or two without having to stop the game is a HUGE comfort to me.

What? Your hands have never gotten tired while playing a game? I'll believe that when I see a porcupine book a first-class flight on Jet Blue.

The main reason I love game cinematics, though, is that some parts of a story are best told through images and sound alone. Just as in theatre there are some stories best conveyed through music and lyric,and some stories that should stay away from the Broadway musical format like a diabetic should avoid the Hershey factory, (I'm looking at you, Titanic and Saturday Night Fever), some things are best experienced when watched instead of played.

***

There's a moment toward the conclusion of Uncharted 2: Among Thieves where the survival of a much-beloved character is in question at the end of a particular battle. The protagonist is shaking her frantically, screaming her name, urging her to wake the hell up. . .and the screen fades to black, without giving you any clue whatsoever whether that character lived or died.

At the beginning of the next scene, our plucky hero is standing in front of a shrine with a trinket in his hand, looking pensive and chatting quietly with a friend. The fate of the missing character is still hanging there, like a shroud. The moments tick by, much is said, and still no mention of the missing party member. He places the medallion on the shrine, quietly says his farewell, and continues talking to the person standing next to him.

The seconds tick by, and you begin to fear the worst. This determined young woman whom you've become quite attached to throughout the telling of this grand adventure may be gone forever. Just as you start to rage and sob and scream in disbelief, there's the sound of an argument out of frame. Our hero turns around. . .lo and behold, there's our girl, battered and bleeding, but alive, and refusing to be coddled just because she took shrapnel from a grenade at extremely short range.

And the player lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

***
***

I once asked David Jaffe, the creator of the God of War franchise, why he took camera control away from the player. His answer? "We wanted to keep the pacing steady, and the best way to do that was to control where the player's eyes roamed when he entered a new area. I didn't want that frantic adrenaline rush we were building to be broken by giving the player the ability to look in every nook and cranny in a room."

I'm paraphrasing, of course, but you get the idea. As much as I hate, hate, HATE (did I mention 'hate'?) fixed cameras in games, I understood what Jaffe was going for with that decision. In other interviews, he's stated that he wanted the players to feel some of the rage and frustration Kratos was experiencing. As a storytelling device, lack of camera control definitely got the job done in that regard, because I have never, EVER screamed in absolute rage while playing a game the way I did while playing God of War.

***

By contrast, sometimes giving the player limited control during a scene is much more evocative than wresting control from her entirely. Two-thirds of the way through the single-player campaign of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, you and your British SAS counterpart are betrayed by the general in charge of your operation. He offers you his hand in congratulations, and instead of a handshake, you get a high-caliber bullet at point-blank range.

You hit the ground, eyes still seeing, your vision slightly blurry. In disbelief, the player starts frantically pushing buttons, desperately hoping that there's something that can be done. The general's goons pick you up, and toss you into a hole in the ground you didn't notice before.

Then you see the cans of gasoline.

Again, the player starts slamming buttons and pulling triggers, even though you know all you can do is move your head a little bit to look into the face of the monster who is ordering his people to douse you and your teammates in flammable liquid. The same man who recruited you for this operation, the man who assured you that your work would save thousands of lives, sets your body ablaze after lighting up (yet another) cigar.

And all you can do is move your head around a bit, desperately seeking the help that will never, ever come.

Unlike that scenario in Uncharted 2 I mentioned, I all but sobbed during this scene, because I felt completely and utterly helpless. Having just that little bit of control during that sequence was enough to convey to me the hopelessness of the situation. The only way they could have driven the point home further is if the controller had the ability to heat up.

***
***

There are many ways to tell a story. No one method is necessarily better than the other, and no single method works 100% of the time. The major problem is that some franchises use cinematics as a crutch to support lackluster story and/or gameplay. (I don't really have to mentoin Metal Gear Solid 4, do I?) Just because cut scenes get overused, though, doesn't mean that cut scenes are inherently bad. The goal shouldn't be to eliminate this storytelling technique altogether; we should, instead, strive to achieve better balance between gameplay and cinematics.

De-Lurking

2010-02-02T10:57:00.001-08:00

I thought long and hard about what my first post would be after my self-imposed media fast.1 Should I outline what I did with my time during my hiatus? Would my readers like to know what I learned from the experience? Did anyone even notice I was gone?

After much inner dialogue with my Thought Hamsters, it was decided I wouldn't really talk about those 3 months all at once, opting instead to mention specific scenarios when they seem appropriate to the topic at hand.2 Suffice it to say that some good stuff and some bad stuff (and some really boring stuff) occurred during that time, and I'll talk about it all. . .eventually.

For now, I'm taking a note from my buddy Chuck Wendig and delivering a splatter post straight into your face, like forcing you to stare down the barrel of a paintball gun at point-blank range just before I turn your world (and your face guard) bright purple.

SPLAT!

What I'm Playing

In the middle of my media fast, my husband John finally ran out of excuses and conceded to my rabid need for a Playstation 3. I rationalized that as long as I didn't play online, I was still holding true to my self-imposed lurking.3 That purchase triggered a game consumption frenzy never before seen in the d'Adesky household. Not just PS3 games, but games in general. Here's the rundown:

Uncharted
Uncharted 2
Assassin's Creed 2
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Brutal Legend
Dragon Age: Origins
Modern Warfare 2
Left 4 Dead 2
The Saboteur
Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness Episode 2
Borderlands
Mass Effect 2
Prince of Persia (2008 version)

Note that those are just the games I've been playing. Were I to include the games John's been playing, all the games we bought that we haven't played yet, Facebook games, older games revisited, and the board games we've been playing with friends every few weeks, that list would be two-to-three times as long, easy. The only thing I haven't done is get back into tabletop RPGs. (Though the year is still young, so who knows?)

At some point, each of those games will get it's own post, but for now, I need to replay a few things to make sure I'm not mixing up details from different games. That's what happens when you take notes using a pen and legal pad, then lose said legal pad. *sigh*

Whistle While You Work. . .

First, a word or three on the subject of GameX 2010. There's been no official update on the show as far as I've heard, though it has been confirmed that VGXPO has NOT renewed their show slot on the Pennsylvania Convention Center schedule for 2010. Interesting. . .we shall have to see what's left after the dust settles.

Anyway, no GameX means no concrete job at the moment, other than my online boutique business, and that's only paying for the kibble my dogs enjoy every day. I'm not bitter, though, because at least I can make my fur kids happy, plus John is very supportive of this wild dream of mine to work full-time in the games industry. (How the heck did I get that lucky?)

Of course, there's always the game testing gig. That, though, is only part-time work and I'm in the phase of rotation where I don't get called into the office for 6-10 weeks. (This particular company does it's level best not to burn out their testers, and for that I am very, very grateful.) I suppose part of the reason I've been on a video game binge is to keep my chops, so when the testing pool rotation comes full circle I can hop right back in the saddle with no problem.4

Projects A Go-Go5

To keep myself busy (and, by extension, out of trouble), I've lined up a lot of projects, of both the geeky and not-so-geeky variety.

In the world of self-determined curriculums, I'm still trying to learn the ins and outs of Adobe Creative Suite 4. I have no idea why it is so hard for me to grasp these programs. It is what it is, though, and so I keep trudging on, determined to use this down time to my advantage. I have vowed that I will not pick up another program/software suite to learn until I've finished with at least 3/4 of what CS4 has to offer. That means Unity, Unreal Engine 3, and Python are all waiting in the wings for their turn in the spotlight. Here's hoping the Thought Hamsters don't start poking them with sticks, or this could get ugly. Like, putting-a-box-of-donuts-backstage-at-a-beauty-pageant-ugly.

Hanging out with self-guided education on the stove is the revamping my resume and plumping up my writing portfolio. Not terribly exciting to most of you, but there it is.

Gearing up for the season that is games industry conferences. No GDC for me this year, though PAX East, UNC C.H.A.T. Festival, Triangle Game Conference, and GDC Austin are all possibilities.

Also on the stove, but relegated to the back burner (for now), is a video project my pal Josh Loomis brought me in on. I can't talk about it much at the moment, but I promise you when this thing goes live, The Escapist Film Festival won't know what hit them.

Life, the Universe, and Everything Else

We've reached something of a breaking point with our living situation. The housing situation is the biggest obstacle that continues to pop up in my personal and professional life. For the unfamiliar, John and I have lived in a barn (that we built with our own two hands before we were even officially dating) for the last 3.5 years. This video on my YouTube account, while somewhat embarrassing, from this time last year pretty much says all that needs to be said on the matter that is the Abarnament.6

If (a really big IF) I can find more work, be it a series of 1099 gigs or a regular W-2 job, we should have enough assets pulled together to finish building our house by the end of this year. I say "finish building," but what I really mean is, "bulldoze the old foundation, as it has been exposed to the elements for 5 years, so we need to start from scratch." (I rarely talk about such things on this particular blog, so if you want to hear more on the matter, you can always ask to add me over on LiveJournal. Otherwise, I won't bore you further.)

For those of you who don't follow me on Twitter (and I can't say that I blame you, because really, I'm not that fascinating), let me update you on some family stuff. John's family hails from Europe. . .and Haiti. From that statement alone, I'm sure you can surmise what has been at the forefront of my thoughts for the last 4 weeks. To answer your unspoken question, yes, we've heard from those who live in Port au Prince, and miraculously, every single one of our family members is alive and uninjured. Their homes and businesses, though. . .well, we won't know until the properties have been inspected just how badly damaged they are. All proceeds from last month's sales at the Etsy store (minus shipping and administrative fees, obviously) are being pooled into a single donation for our family members abroad.

In addition, 50% of all the sales my web store garners for the month of February will go to the Red Cross. John will also be giving blood sometime this month, and once the doctor gives me the green light, I'll most like be giving blood for the first time in my entire life.7 The blood banks are pretty well depleted right now, so if you're strapped for cash but still want to help, I urge you to consider this as an option.

And that, as they say, is that. If you stuck it out until the end of this post, you deserve a cookie. Unfortunately, I'm too broke to provide you with one via USPS, so you'll have to settle for the clever footnotes I've stashed below instead.

See you on the flip side.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

1--To clarify, "media fast" is a term I first encountered in The Four-Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss. It means to take a break from most, if not all, media in order to recalibrate your mental compass.
2--Yes, I have thought hamsters. (Shut up.) Instead of running around on exercise wheels, though, they form a conga line and tromp through my brain in a constant loop. When they have something to say, they stop and convey their concerns via posterboard placards. What?
3--Do NOT bring up the fact that I was still using Twitter and Facebook during this time, or I will sick Luna on you. She may look harmless, but don't let that face fool you. Make not mistake; she's lethal. She will lick you to death.
4--Oh, hi there, Rationalization! When did you drop by for a visit?
5--I listed "Projects" separate from "Work" because I don't consider those projects work. I guess I should be a good hostess and get Rationalization set up on the couch, because it seems he's going to be staying a while.
6--We have a ceiling now, and the place is much cleaner now that the ceiling construction materials are gone, so don't worry overly much about us. As long as we can get into a proper dwelling before next winter, we'll be fine.
7--I had the misfortune of contracting meningitis nine years ago, and as such, there is a certain period of time that must pass before you are deemed "fit" to give blood again. (Actually, a certain amount of time must pass, AND your blood work must show no anomalies.) Before that, I had a string of bad luck where, without fail, I ALWAYS had a stupid cold that came about two to three days prior to any blood drive I signed up for. I kid you not. Somewhere, the Universe is sniggering, the smug bastard.

Big Life Event: Credit

2009-12-23T07:21:00.000-08:00

Being part of the newly married, the most frequently asked question I'm asked is, "When are you going to have kids?"

Well, I have an announcement to make, (but you'll have to highlight the area after the colon to read it):

Not this year.

Ha, ha. Had you going for a nanosecond, didn't I? I know, I'm a meanie-head.

While John and I won't be spawning any time soon, I do, however, have another life event to relate to you, my wonderful readers.

I got my first video game credit earlier this fall.

Normally, testers in my position (working for a company that makes casual games) don't get credited at the end of the game credits. In the film industry, this would have the union calling for blood, but we don't have a union (not really, anyway), and frankly I'm okay with that.

At Merscom, the head of Quality Assurance keeps tabs on who tested which game and writes a letter of recommendation when we request it, outlining what work we have done for the company. Not sure if this is how it works for other studios, but given what I've heard at IGDA gatherings, I'm grateful all the same. :)

Anyway, my fellow game tester and all-around fabulous online gal pal Meg Stivison clued me in to this about a week ago, and I was so excited. . .I forgot to write about it. You'll have to scroll a bit to find my name, but it's there, under the Merscom, LLC section.

To make things easier, Meg also snagged a screenshot for me. Cuz she's awesome.

Enjoy. :)

One addendum to that last post. . .

2009-09-30T13:37:00.000-07:00

Did I also mention that Carrie Fisher guest starred in episode 204 of the NBC show 30 Rock as nutjob writer Rosemary Howard? If you've never seen the show, let alone that episode, you're missing out. Go watch it. Now.

No, really. Stop what you're doing, hop onto Netflix (or something similar) and watch it. Not only is the show great, but the work Fisher does in that episode is some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen. I literally laughed out loud, much to Oddball's confusion. (Oddball is my youngest dog, and she likes to sit next to me in my office while I work.)

That is all. You may now return to your regularly scheduled lives. After you watch 30 Rock, obviously.

Carrie Fisher is My Heroine

2009-09-29T06:15:00.000-07:00

One of them, anyway.

I can still remember that red-letter day when I became a fledgling girl geek. While we were living in Orlando in the early 1980's, my mother brought home a copy of Star Wars: A New Hope on BetaMAX. (For you embryos reading this, BetaMAX was the competitor to VHS, which in turn was the precursor to DVDs and Blu-Ray discs.) I watched the bejeezus out of that tape until it finally broke apart, if parental reports are to be believed. I nearly died with glee when my parents told me that there were two more movies that continued the story.

Why was I so enamored with this story? Was it the blaster pistols? The 8-foot tall walking carpet? The lightsabre battles? The eventual additions of Muppets? Nope. All those things were awesome (and still are, in my not-so humble opinion), but what really pulled me into the mythos was that, next to my mother, Princess Leia was the most gorgeous, kick-ass female I had ever seen in my (very short) life.

I went through a phase where I wanted to wear dresses 24/7 because the Princess could still kick butt while wearing one. I grew my hair long and while my mother bargained with me to go with a single bun rather than Leia's iconic hairdo from the first Star Wars film, it was close enough that my six-year-old self still felt like a classy badass when she entered kindergarten. This didn't stop my tomboy tendencies, however; far from it. If anything, the whole situation probably caused me to go take my unladylike behavior to a whole new level. I think there's even a photograph somewhere of me stuck on top of the monkey bars wearing some purple number I picked out from the base exchange.

Of course, it wasn't until I got a little older that I learned that the people in movies were actually actors telling a story. It sort of became apparent when I got to the age where I noticed that Han Solo and Indiana Jones looked an awful lot alike. It was at that time that I started wondering what Ms. Carrie Fisher was like as a person outside of those three movies I loved so dearly. As it turns out, she's the kind of multi-faceted person I would want to know personally.

She's written novels and scripts. She's got a wicked sense of humor. She's as open with her pitfalls as she is with her triumphs, and it is that fact right there that really gets me. Ms. Fisher, is so very, very human, and I like that about her. She laughs at herself, loudly and often, and seems to take herself only just seriously enough to get her work done. Some people, though, do not appreciate that particular quality, and seem to think that because she's a public figure she shouldn't succumb to those pesky human problems of weight gain and aging.

Look, people. If memory serves, Fisher is 53 years old and has a kid. I hope to all that is good and holy I look half as good as she does after I have my own children and survive 53 years on this planet. But, rather than rant at you further, I direct you to Ms. Fisher's website. There, she made a post that sums up how I feel about the entire matter perfectly.

The TL;DR version: If you're going to criticize a star's appearance, how about you put your money where your mouth is and post a photo of yourself alongside your words? While you're at it, how about posting your IQ and SAT scores? Fair is fair, after all.

Here, I'll even go first. Carrie, while I have no criticism to offer, these pictures are for you:

This photo is roughly 2 years old, but I look pretty much the same. That's me posing with my friend Chrissy at a late night pirate party during a festival called Pennsic in western PA. Not my most photogenic moment, but you can clearly tell I'm smashed and I'm loving it. OH, and did I mention I tip the scales at 275 in the photo? It bothers me not at all. Why? Because the people who matter couldn't give a damn if I was 300 pounds or half that. See next photo for an example.

This is me at my 27th birthday party, with my husband John. He thinks I'm one of the hottest women ever, chronic thyroid condition and all. That's all that really matters. He loves me just the way I am, and the rest of you nay-sayers can suck it.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm fat and I'm awesome. Deal with it. And P.S.--My SAT score was 1150, most of the points coming from the writing and grammar portion. So there.

(By the way, this post was inspired by an open letter written by the ever-lovely Filamena over on her blog a week or so ago.)

Tardy, but Never Absent

2009-09-28T05:42:00.000-07:00

I know, I know! Stop spamming my inbox! I know I haven't posted anything of substance in a while, but things are NUTS over here in Chapel Hill right now. I've been promoted (twice) in the last two months over at GameX, and now that we're *does some mental math* twenty-seven days from opening day and only TWENTY-ONE DAYS until pre-show, things will only get nuttier. Heck, the only time I've successfully remembered to eat on a regular basis is the weekends, and that's only because John won't let me get away with forgetting. He all but chains me to the 360 to make sure I don't overwork myself. (Which isn't all bad; we have upped our GamerScore by nearly 500 points this month. . .)

Anyway, my laptop decided to have a quiet meltdown in the office whilst we were playing games and doing household chores this weekend. This means I have to spend some time backing things up today to make sure I don't lose anything important. (And yes, damn you, my Sims 2 saves count as "important".) GameX files first, then everything else. As such, I'll have to make a proper post sometime tonight. Until then, I'd like to direct all of you to the excellent 30-second television spot NBC10 did for GameX. If you view, please remember to rate it and/or comment. Thanks!

P.S.--In the time it took me to write this post, my oatmeal went cold. Do you know how much cold oatmeal SUCKS? You better know how much I like you people. . .:-P

GameX Announces Steampunk Art Competition

2009-08-24T14:14:00.000-07:00

Come one, come all! GameX is proud to announce its Steampunk Art Competition at this fall's show! The Competition is designed for artist of all levels, from Pro to Student!
GameX Steampunk Art Competition is a one-of-a-kind science-fiction/fantasy art contest with an all-star line-up of industry judges in film, animation, games and comics, including top artistic talent from companies such as Universal Pictures, DreamWorks Animation, Universal Studios, 2K Boston, Ubisoft and Turbine. Winning entries will be on display in the Artist Market area at GameX, the new games and media expo, October 23-25 in Philadelphia.

Artists are invited to create an original steampunk-themed artwork piece and submit their art entry online by Saturday, October 10, 2009. Presented by Steam Gear Lab, the GameX Steampunk Art Competition will award one Grand Prize Winner, one 2D Winner, one Digital 3D Winner, and one Physical Construction/Sculpture Winner. The contest Grand Prize Winner and three finalists will receive a combined total $10,000-worth of art tools, software and technology from contest sponsors Alienware, Wacom, Pixologic ZBrush, 3D Coat, Digicel and Faber-Castell.

Twenty art entries will make it to the finals and be displayed on the GameX online contest page, while the four winning works will be on display at GameX, October 23-25. Winners will be announced by Tuesday, October 20, 2009.

GameX is the only show that is backed by NBC media. What does that mean for you? It means your art work could easily be seen by thousands! Get your work seen! Don't miss out on this opportunity to have your talents seen by industry professionals, fans and fellow artist.

Got questions? Contact our team today at art@gamexpo.us for more details.

Go to http://gamexpo.us/expo/artcompetition/ for complete contest guidelines, rules, prizes and judges!

Deadline to enter is October 10th, 2009.

The GameX Website.

Still Alive

2009-06-10T10:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't abandoned you lot, I swear. I spent all of last week glued to my TweetDeck and the E3 feeds, and as such have yet to recover from the eyestrain, the neck cricks, and the damage all that Pepsi Throwback has done to my kidneys.

Seriously, though, that is a LOT of information to digest, and there's still news trickling in that I've yet to read through. I can't believe E3 was only last week. I'm worn out, and I wasn't even there. I can only imagine what it will feel like when I drive out there for the event next year. Good grief. . .

1 vs. 100 Live Beta

2009-06-02T13:17:00.000-07:00

The One must choose between the Money or the Mob during 1 vs. 100 Live Beta Monday night. (Credit: Video Game Generation.com)

Last night I participated in the (very early) beta for the new MMO 1 vs. 100 Live on Xbox Live. Yes, it is an online version of the television game show, and you're in for a shock: It's actually good.

I admit, I was skeptical that such a concept could work. I mean, a regularly-schedule online game show, with a live host, commercial sponsors, and real-time interaction from console players? I was almost certain it would fail mightily.

Mark this one on your calendars, kids: I was wrong. So very, very wrong.

If you are unfamiliar with the television game show (which has been canceled, apparently), the concept of 1 vs. 100 is quite simple. The One, an individual contestant, competes against The Mob, a group of one hundred contestants who all want the same thing: To outlast The One and take the prize for themselves. Everyone gets the chance to answer the same multiple choice questions, most of which pertain to current events and popular culture. If a member of The Mob answers a question incorrectly, they are eliminated, and the next round begins with whomever is left. This continues until the entire Mob has been eliminated, or the One chooses to take the money and run. If the One answers incorrectly, he or she gets nothing, and what money has been racked up gets split between the remaining Mob.

As with many game shows these days, there are "lifelines" that the One can utilize to help him or her out. This is where the video game begins to diverge from the television show. In the TV version, the One had the following options:

Poll the Mob: The One picks one of the three possible answers for the question, and polls the Mob to see how many of them answered the same way. He or she can then to change their answer if desired.
Ask the Mob: At random, two mob members are chosen, one having answered the question correctly, while the other did not. No one in-game knows which is which. Each takes a few moments to explain to The One why they chose their respecitve answer. Afterwards, the One must choose his or her answer.
Trust the Mob: The One's answer will match the one chosen by the majority of the Mob. In the case of a tie, he or she must choose between the remaining two answers.

In the online game, though, the options differ slightly:

Trust the Mob: This is the only Help option that stayed the same between the two versions.
Trust the Crowd: This works just like "Trust the Mob," only a tally of the most popular answer amongst the Crowd (aka the audience) is taken instead.
Trust the Brain: This one is completely unique. The One's answer will coincide with that of the current highest-scoring player, be them from the Mob or the Crowd.

What else makes this different from the television show is the inclusion of The Crowd, Xbox Live players who get to answer questions right along with everyone else. This is also the player pool from which the One and the Mob are chosen. If my sources are correct, your chances of being chosen from the Crowd for either role are dependent on the number of total questions you've answered, as well as your accuracy and speed. These statistics will be reset each week, which evens the playing field for new players and hardcore fans alike.

For a game that's in early beta, it played pretty well. I only had a few problems with it, though some of them can be attributed to my own idiocy. (More on those later.) The main problem I had was getting into the actual game, because the place was PACKED. It took 15 minutes of constant refreshing, but I eventually got in. You begin in a theater lobby, and watch stats and trivia scroll on a virtual Jumbotron while you wait to be "seated." Groups of four friends can play together, either locally (i.e. from the same living room) or online from your Xbox Live friends list. If you're by your lonesome, you'll just be grouped with three random XBL members. Each player is represented by their Avatar, and while you wait, you and your teammates can watch your virtual selves dance, jump, wave, or applaud, among other things. These movements are tied to the D-pad and the Y button, and while your choices in moves are limited and randomized, I thought this was a quirky little touch that made the game just ever so slightly more fun. Just like you wish you could do something during loading screens and end credits in other games, this little feature gives you something to do during commercial breaks and "stat checks."

You read that correctly: There are, indeed, commercial breaks. However, rather than your normal 2-4 minutes of annoying interruption, these breaks consist of 60 to 90 seconds of sponsorship touting or commentary from the live host. They also serve the function that normal commercials do, which is to give you the chance to quickly run to the restroom or grab a snack from your fridge. Some may find the frequency of these breaks to be irritating, but I welcomed them whole-heartedly, since the game episodes can last as long as two hours.

Since we're on the subject of time, let's get back to that matter of my own idiocy. I played for the entirety of Monday's episode, with the exception of the 15-minute waiting period I experienced. In the beginning, I was on FIRE, with a 96% accuracy rating and a speed of .9 to 1.4 seconds per question. As the night wore on, though, my stats started tanking due to eye strain and general fatigue. (Not surprising, given that I was playing from 10:45 pm to 12:30 am EST.) You see, each question has three possible answers, each of which is tied to one of the colored face buttons on your Xbox controller. As time went by, I found myself accidentally mashing the wrong button and getting the answer wrong, even though I had the correct answer in mind all along. I could have opted to leave the game for this reason, but after the trial of getting onto the server to begin with I just couldn't bring myself to drop out. That, and this game is quite addictive if you are a trivia junkie. As it happens, I am.

The other great thing about this game is that it is free to Xbox Live Gold members. Worry not, however, if you don't have a Gold membership. Anyone can play, as long as you or someone you know have an Xbox 360. . .but only Gold members can win prizes. From Microsoft points to fun little gadgets to free Xbox Live Arcade games, all members have a chance to win. For the beta period, though, everyone just gets multiple entries into a sweepstakes, though the top three players do win an Arcade game download. There will be a different set of prizes each week.

All in all, the game is fun, rewarding, challenging, and an absolute blast if you play with your friends. Each region will have it's own content team, and with the ability for players to provide their own questions and comments via email, the trivia is promised to never repeat. I recommend 1 vs. 100 Live for anyone over the age of 15, as sometimes the questions get into risky subject matter like drugs, violence, and the like. My husband and I plan on playing together during the next beta episode, which is this coming Saturday. (Check your Xbox Dashboard for local listings and details, though, as the times vary by region.)

Plants vs. Zombies

2009-05-26T14:36:00.001-07:00

Name: Plants vs. Zombies
Developer: PopCap Games
Platform: PC
Genre: Casual--Tower Defense
Release Date: May 5, 2009

The Premise: Plants vs. Zombies is the latest release from PopCap Games, the masterminds who brought us Bejeweled and Peggle. Your neighborhood has been invaded by zombies, and they all seem to be gunning for you. The only defense you have against them is your wits. . .and your inexplicable collection of battle-ready garden plants. With the occasional "help" of your neighbor Crazy Dave, you mount a defensive against wave after wave of frighteningly funny undead.

The Gameplay:Your beautifully maintained yard serves as the battlefield, and is divided into a grid within which you place (er, plant) "weapons." Prior to each level, you choose which plants you'll use to defend your home. Your best friend is the Sunflower, who spits out little orbs of sunshine at regular intervals. These little bits of sun are what you use to buy your seedlings. If you run out of sun, kiss your brains goodbye; If a single zombie makes it into the house, you lose.

When a level begins, you're given about 30 seconds to start planting, then a small progress bar appears at the bottom right of the screen. This, plus text and sound cues, lets you know that the zombies are approaching and that you'll need to move quickly to keep up your defenses. When a zombie comes in contact with a piece of vegetation, he chomps on it until it's fully consumed or he falls apart from damage created by cannon fire. Once you've eliminated all the zombies from each wave, the level ends and you progress to the next section.

This may seem a little too easy, but don't be fooled: These shambling schmoes are a lot smarter than they look. Once they realize that daytime battles aren't their strong point, these guys start attacking after sundown. Fog, grave stones, your pool, and a lack of natural sunlight can work to their advantage, and you'll have to adjust your game play accordingly. If you defeat them here, they'll move to your backyard, and later your roof, in order to get what they want. As such, you're forced to change your fighting approach accordingly, which keeps things from getting monotonous.

The Finer Details: With 48 different plants to unlock or buy (defeated foes sometimes drop money as they fall), and 26 types of zombie, you'll probably never play a level the same way twice. In addition to the 50 levels of Adventure Mode, you can play through 20 mini-games, 20 puzzles, and a Survival mode. There's also the strangely compelling Zen Garden, where plants you collect from fallen zombies reside. If you care for them properly, they'll reward you by dropping coins, which you can use to purchase items from the shop your neighbor, Crazy Dave, runs out of the trunk of his car.

The level of humor in Plants vs. Zombies is a lot higher than most other casual games I've played, too. All the weapons and zombies have clever and witty names which add to the fun. There's something satisfying about using a Threepeater and a Torchwood to send flaming peas at the enemy three at a time, or a well-placed Cherry Bomb to take out a whole group of undead at once. At the same time, some of the zombie classes will make you wonder what the design team was smoking. While the Thriller-esque zombies are a no-brainer, who the heck came up with the Zomboni and the Zombie Bobsled Team? (Incidentally, those two are my favorite simply because they are just so incredibly random.) Even the Help section is somewhat comical in nature, as it was written not by the designers, but by the Zombies.

Also, this game has some of the most solid mechanics I've ever seen. Nothing seems contrived, or out of place, the difficulty is well-balanced, and everything works fluidly. The autosave is FLAWLESS. The only time I lost any game progress was during an unexpected power outage. In all, I have but two issues with the entire game. Firstly, while a few plants show degradation visibly (seeing a stoic Tall-nut cry while being eaten is heartbreaking to behold), there's no health indicator for most of them. I somehow prevent one of my Peashooters from being consumed, only to see it disappear in a single chomp from the next zombie that comes along. It can be very frustrating. Secondly, the final boss seems so. . .well, random. And I don't mean that in the "wow, that's clever," sense, either. I won't spoil it for anyone who has yet to play, but his appearance leaves you scratching your head wondering, "If this guy was in charge the whole time, why did it take so long for them to get a clue? And why were the notes they sent me so badly written?"

Even with those tiny flaws, PopCap has created an addictive little game that makes time fly by with disturbing speed and gives you a whole new appreciation for the greenery around your house . Plus, you'll find yourself humming the song from the ending credits for DAYS. . .and yet not be bothered by it. (Speaking of which, said ending credits and song can be seen/heard here.)

The Bottom Line: I installed this game at 9:30 pm on a Friday, and the next thing I knew it was 4:30 am Saturday. That was more than a week ago, and I'm still playing. Best not-quite $20 I've spent so far this year.

Expectations

2009-05-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

Until now, writing reviews for games has been easy: Talk about the mechanics and story, state the pros and cons, give my opinion, publish. Literally, that is how my outlines for such things actually read. (Well, sometimes there's an item on the list like, "Lambast the designer who came up with X stupid idea; try to make them cry." You know, if a game or section really awful.) Now that I have an "official" game blog, though, it is proving to be much more difficult, and I have no idea why.

My personal diatribes over on LiveJournal have far more followers than this little blog (give or take 90, to give you an idea), but for whatever reason I fear letting these particular readers down with lackluster content more than anywhere else. I try to keep things within the "theme," even if only sometimes loosely so (i.e. the "somethin' else" tag), but it feels so. . .confining. The artist in me hates confinement, yet the pragmatist in me can't do without it.

And maintaining multiple blogs is TOUGH, if anyone was curious. Not only do I maintain three of my own, but I maintain one other as a side job for someone else, as well as moderating several communities and lists. I used to update my personal journal every day or at least three times a week. Now? Yeah, I'm lucky if I remember to update once a week, and even then it isn't as if I am reporting anything particularly spellbinding. My friends have been asking if anything is wrong because I've stopped updating frequently. All I can tell them is, "I seem to have run out of words."

In order to better serve my readers, I think it's time I took their pulse. Feedback is a writer's crack-cocaine. What do you guys want to see here?

Poppin' Tags

2009-05-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

My life just exploded into a logistics minefield. So much to juggle, so little time. . .

Currently updating the entry tags for this blog, and working on the Plants vs. Zombies review. To tide you over until that is finished, have some Transformers geekery in the form of a flash drive. Thank you BawdyJane (on Twitter) for sharing this little piece of awesomeness. ;)

Game Consumption

2009-05-17T13:34:00.000-07:00

Plants vs. Zombies has overtaken my life for the past 2.5 days. I've beat it once already, and now all I want to do is play it some more. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, please go view this video. (Cannot get it to embed today for some reason.)

As my friend Marq said, Japanese pop is much more tolerable when it involves zombies and sunflowers.

My full review of the game is forthcoming. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: FINALLY got the video to embed. My HTML-Fu is off this week.

Chocolate Geekery

2009-05-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

One of our dogs, Max, has a vet appointment today, so I won't have a more substantial post until later. For now, revel in the awesome bit of related geekery pictured above and described below.

Not to be confused with the game development company that creates games for mass-market casual platforms, Digital Chocolates on Etsy provides specialized chocolate treats for the discerning gamer. When a Twix or a Snickers just won't do, reach for Digital Chocolates. Old school and new school chocolates available. (Warning: Wiimote chocolates do not come with wriststraps. Eat at your own risk.)

Bust

2009-05-13T21:45:00.000-07:00

Library outing was a bit of a bust. I keep forgetting that even though we live very, very close to it, we do not actually LIVE in Chapel Hill and thus cannot use the Orange County Library for free. It would cost $60 a year per person to do so, and rightly so. If someone from another county wanted to use our library I'd expect them to pay out-of-pocket since they pay no taxes in our county. The main reason I wanted to use it was that I can never find the Pittsboro Memorial Library here in Chatham County. I always get lost. Then I remembered what John gave me for our first anniversary this past December: A GPS for my truck.

Yeah, quick-witted and with it, I am. Really.

Anyway, it wasn't a total loss. I did get to bug Chrissy at Barnes & Noble, and John found an electronic copy of Character Development and Storytelling for Games for me to use via the Undergrad Library at UNC. Having a spouse who works in the university system definitely has it's perks.

The Old-Fashioned Way

2009-05-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm something of an oddity. I like doing old-fashioned things, but I prefer doing them in modern ways. For example, all the bread we eat here at home is homemade. However, my hands aren't as strong as they used to be so I have my trusty bread machine do the bulk of the kneading for me. The opposite applies, as well. All our dishes go through the dishwasher. . .only to be set up in a dish rack to air dry.

My attitude toward education is the same. New technology is great, but sometimes you can't beat a set of flashcards when getting ready for your next quiz on multiplication tables. Conversely, you can't really learn basic computer skills from books alone. You need that hands-on component (playing with the computer itself) to make it all stick. You really need both tried-and-true techniques and shiny new programs and gadgets to achieve a complete learning experience. About a million notebooks litter the landscape of our home, because I prefer to do much of my planning and writing with good ol' pen and paper. Even the writing I do for this blog is rarely stream-of-consciousness; I typically have a hand-written outline sitting next to me to remind me where I want to go in each entry.

After talking things out with a few of my friends yesterday (thanks, y'all), I've decided to begin my education in game design somewhat old-fashionedly: I'm going to the library. I'm going with the express purpose of setting up my self-taught curriculum using a few books that were suggested to me by folks at TGC. Specifically, this one by Rafael Chandler and another one by Lee Sheldon. I'll add to my curriculum as suggestions come up and as materials become available. I'll be checking out a copy of Wizard's First Rule by Terry Goodkind today, too.

What? Reading fantasy fiction counts as homework in this industry. . .right?

If things go well, I might even head over to Barnes & Noble to pick up a book or two to brush up on my HTML while bugging my friends Chrissy & Autumn at the coffee counter. :)

More Cake Geekery

2009-05-12T15:17:00.001-07:00

Taking a break from bread baking means I surf the web for fun food stuffs, apparently. I do not yet own an iPhone, but I know many of you do. This was just too good NOT to share. Again, courtesy of the incredible artists at SugarButterFlour.com

Update: New User Photo

2009-05-12T15:04:00.000-07:00

I finally have a user photo. For the curious, that was taken around Easter 2007. The puppy with the bunny ears? Yeah, that's my golden-not-retriever, Oddball, at about 5 months old. :)

Have Your Game and Eat It, Too

2009-05-12T10:34:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows I have a bit of a cake problem. I will forsake many things for a slice of exceptional cake. In that vein, I bring to you this wonderful work of art from SugarButterFlour.com.

The Road Not Taken

2009-05-11T12:44:00.000-07:00

Growing up, I despised poetry. Not because the genre itself was boring. No one can read something like The Walrus and The Carpenter by Lewis Carrol and possibly say that poetry is boring. No, I hated it because our teachers made out every line to be some sort of code that only adults could understand. To me, poems were stories told in a beautiful style that only a few could master. Symbolism wasn't lost on me, but often I had to wonder, "When is a shoe just a shoe and nothing more?"

It was thanks to writers like Lewis Carrol and Shel Silverstein that I have any love for poetry. If it wasn't for them I would have given up on the genre altogether in my childhood. I bring this up because I was thinking about one of my favorite poems today, while asking myself, "Well, Manda, which way are you going to go?"

Of course, I'm talking about Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. It was one of the few poems I knew by heart for years and years, and every time I come to a fork in the road, figuratively or literally, I hear my 13-year-old self murmuring in my mind, "Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both. . ."

My current problem is deciding on a single direction to move in and sticking with it. I feel pulled in a multitude of directions all at once and I can see the dozens of possibilities that each path could bring. That's what makes choosing so darned difficult: I keep wondering what I will miss by choosing a particular road. I can promise myself that I will revisit the paths left behind, but as Frost said, "Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back."

Do I plow full-tilt into graduate school? Buy some programs and books and opt to teach myself these things that look like gobbledy-gook when my eyes pass over them? Take art lessons from the cartoonist who lives nearby? Start reviewing video games and hope someone thinks my opinion deserves monetary rewards?

I just don't know.

And the Rock Called Out, "No Hiding Place!"

2009-05-11T11:16:00.000-07:00

I finally heard the song that quote comes from a few weeks ago. On a television show, even.

Anyway, I finally left the rock I live under and joined Twitter. Now I can be mediocre and uninteresting on the Internet in a completely different format than usual. Score.

Username amandadadesky over there, if it interests you. That is all.

Mom, This Blog's For You

2009-05-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Ah, Mother's Day, that one pre-determined day of the year when we tell good ol' Mom how much we care. (I personally believe we don't give our mothers enough credit the other 364 days of the year, but that is a rant for another post.) I've spent this day in years past doing what everyone else does: Flowers. Cards. Brunch. Gold-painted macaroni sculptures. This year, though, I'm going to do something a little different.

Today, I'm going to tell the blogosphere exactly how incredible my mother is.

Over the last few months I have been slowly revealing to people that I am pursuing game design as a career. Once this has been said, many have asked me what boils down to the same question, "How does it feel, being a woman in a male-dominated industry like game development?" Often, I put on my trademark mischevious smirk, and say something cute like, "Not too shabby. It's fun to stand out without trying too hard." Then everyone laughs at my little quip and moves on. I don't do this to be flippant; quite the contrary. I say such things because, honestly, it never really occurred to me that being a woman had much to do with what I choose to do for a living. Why?

Well, because of my mother.

Chief Petty Officer Brenda P. Goldman (aka Mom) retired from the United States Navy with 20 years of service and more than a few commendations under her belt several years ago. She's done everything from training recruits in the art of field medicine to piecing back together the fallen during the Gulf War to creating sick hall protocols that are still in use by the Navy today, if my information is correct. In addition to all that, she raised two children, sent them both to college, took care of all three of my grandparents in their later years, managed to volunteer in the community, and maintain a happy marriage to a fellow enlisted person through thick and thin for 21 years. All the while, she was serving our country in a near-flawless fashion.

Plus, she makes one hell of a rum cake.

(You think Master Chief from Halo is a badass? Well, when he can pick the kids up from soccer practice, look smashing for a cocktail party at the Commadant's house AND save the Universe all at the same time, then we'll talk. Until then, he ain't got nothin' on Mom.)

In all my growing up years, never did my mother ever make a huge fuss about being a woman in the military. Not once. She never expected special treatment. She never complained about the guys being too rough on her. She dished it out just as good as she got it, too, whenever someone was stupid enough to imply that Mom was too weak or too stupid to do something because she was a woman. She didn't get in their face, she didn't complain to her superiors. No. . .she just got even, by being the best damn servicewoman around.

This is pretty much my mother's attitude towards everything. Women can do most anything that men can do, and vice versa. Other than some of the finer details, gender matters not. Men can be nurses, women can be fighter pilots, doesn't matter as long as they get the job done. Naturally, this world view made its way into my psyche. Due to this fact, it wasn't until I hit college that I found out exactly how "rare" female gamers are. People were shocked to find out that I, the girl with the penchant for musicals and mystery novels, was a gamer. It never occurred to me that my sex was supposed to automatically dictate my likes and dislikes.

From the day Dad brought home our shiny new Nintendo Entertainment System to the day my very own Playstation 2 was bestowed upon me, games have been a part of my life. Without thinking much of it, they have been a part of my mother's life, too. I remember staying up late with both her and Dad, playing Duck Hunt and Super Mario Bros., then being shuffled off to bed so they could play alone. When I'd wake up in the middle of night to ask for a glass of water, sometimes I would catch her at a critical point in a level, but she'd pause the game and tend to her youngling, anyway. It's what good mothers do, after all, though I wonder how many times I inadvertently caused her untimely demise in-game. . .

Thinking back, it was all so very obvious. Mom played our GameBoy more than us kids did, Tetris and Yoshi's Cookie being her games of choice. She was the first to aquiesce to our pleas for a Super Nintendo, and later the Nintendo 64, after which she played through and beat Super Mario 64 before I had even finished reading the game pamphlet. We were the first kids in our neighborhood to get a GameBoy Color. (If nothing else, that was the first time in my childhood that I was undisputably cool. Thanks, Mom.)

When I got older, I logged on to our family PC to do my history homework, when suddenly Warcraft: Orcs vs. Humans began its auto-run sequence and three hours later my homework still wasn't finished. I asked my brother why he'd left his game in the CD drive, only to have him inform me that said game belonged to our mother. Heck, my mother got a Wii a while ago and I still don't have one. It makes me proud and jealous, all at the same time, to tell people that my mother kicks butt at Zelda and Wii Bowling.

My mother is a "casual gamer," though not in the way the term is typically used. Rather than describing the genre of games one plays, it describes the demeanor of the player. In her patented unassuming manner, Mom has been a gamer for most of my life. She never brags about it, isn't ashamed of it. . .it's just something she does. The fact that she's a woman has nothing to do with it. She thinks video games are fun, and she plays them. End of story. No trash talking. No rabid newbie punting. No fuss. Just having fun.

It is for this reason I have been striving to be low-key about my gaming, as well as my transition from soapmaker to game designer. I haven't always succeeded in this endeavor, but no one is perfect. I have also eased up on the trash talking on Xbox Live, because we're all there to have fun. Making someone cry because I beat them during Free-For-All on Call of Duty 4 isn't going to make my experience more entertaining. (Besides, there are 12-year-olds that play that game. I really don't want someone else's mom to report me for teaching their kid new and interesting ways to say, "You suck.")

Anyway, here's to you, Mom. Thank you for inadvertently teaching me how to be a better gamer as well as a better person. May everyone have such a mother in their lives.

Happy Mother's Day. ^_^

Back on the Air

2009-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

Toshiba got my laptop back to me in record time. Less than one week from shipping it off to having it returned. It was waiting for me on Friday evening when John and I got back from picking up our three mutts from the vet's office. My friend Jeff and his buddy C.J. signed for it while we were out. (They were working on a Toyota Supra in our other barn when UPS rolled in.)

Thanks, guys. :)

The One Who Wept

2009-05-05T22:34:00.001-07:00

I've been struggling, these last few days. Struggling to decompress from Triangle Game Conference and digest all that I learned there. My thought hamsters (more on them later) are working overtime, sorting, cataloging, and shelving all the information that was stuffed into my brain last week.

Something in particular has come to my attention in regard to a presentation I attended on the second day of the event. Brenda Brathwaite's lecture, "How I Dumped Electricity and Learned to Love Design," wasn't billed as a life-changing experience, but then, such things are rarely spelled out so explicitly. Something of an overview of the presentation, it's subject matter, and the audience's reaction can be found over at The Escapist, but frankly, it really doesn't do Brenda or her work justice.

The part that got my attention was in the next to last paragraph:

There were audible gasps in the audience when Brathwaite revealed Train's shocking conclusion; one attendee was so moved by the experience that she left the conference room in tears.

Well, boys and girls, I have news for you: That attendee the author mentioned was me.

Let me explain.

Essentially, this legend in game design was fed up with digital games. Brenda had played three video/PC games in a row that seemed nearly identical in scheme though they were produced by three different companies, and she'd had enough. Being a board-game aficionado, Brenda made the conscious decision to spend a nine-month period avoiding all digital gaming and immerse herself in the non-digital possibilities. During that time, as the article outlines, the opportunity to use a game to drive home the true meaning behind the events of the Middle Passage to her 8-year-old daughter presented itself.

This scenario started the wheels turning, bringing up questions along the lines of, "Why is it more games like this don't exist? Why is it that other mediums, like film, photography, and writing, could tackle the difficult subjects such as Columbine or the assassination of JFK, but making games about them was "just too much?"

Thus, the project The Mechanic is the Message, a series of six board games that deal with some of history's most uncomfortable (and horrifying) subjects, was born.

The piece in the series that has gotten the most attention thus far is one titled, quite simply, Train. During the lecture, the first slide that came up in regard to this piece was all black, with the title hanging in the lower right-hand corner, in white, eerily nondescript type.

A younger part of me, locked away during my teenage years, gasped. "Please, please, please," she pleaded, "let this be a game about the Underground Railroad. Pretty please?"

The next slide was a close-up shot of a black boxcar with its tiny sliding doors standing slightly open, through which you could see little yellow avatars, about the size of your thumb. I recognized that particular shade of dingy, dreary yellow. . .

"Oh, God. No, no, no. . ."

Then the next slide came up, which depicted the whole game board in all its terrible glory. Three train tracks, laid across a shattered window pane, with little black boxcars filled with tiny yellow people. . .

I gasped again, this time audibly. Part of my mind quailed, wanting to tune out the words that were to come next. . .and that was when the aspiring designer in me took back control. After all, I wasn't going to learn anything if I stopped paying attention just because the subject matter was uncomfortable.

"Nope. Definitely not the Underground Railroad. Things are about to get REAL interesting."

As Brenda described the objective of the game, which was to get all your pieces from Point A to Point B, I became misty-eyed. She explained, "You see, I had made the pieces just a hair too tall to fit through the doors easily. Because of this, some players opened up the end of the boxcars and began "stuffing" the people inside to make them fit better." That was when the first tears started silently streaming down my face. And when she said, "It wasn't until someone 'won' that the destination was revealed: They had just shipped all those people to Auschwitz," it was all I could do not to openly sob.

Now, the reason I wrote all this is because I don't feel that the writer at the Escapist truly understands why I was so moved. Well, I should say reasons, plural. The first is the most obvious: The subject matter all of these games deal with is very difficult to face. I married a half-Haitian Jew (I'll give you a a moment to wrap your mind around that), so not only do I feel strongly connected to the events of the Shoah, I have very strong feelings on the slave trade. Always have, honestly. (I took a black gay man to prom and got a shitake-load of flack for it.)

The other reason? I "got" it. I understood what Brenda was trying to teach us: the mechanics are the game, period. Neither a storyline crafted by a Pulitzer-prize winning author nor the highest polygon count in the universe can save your game if the mechanics don't work. Clunky and/or confusing mechanics rob the player of complete immersion into the world you've created, and thus she is cheated out of a "whole" experience. Next-gen technology is nice, but it isn't (nor should it be) the heart of design. In the race to create the most outstanding looking game out there, companies seem to have lost the ability to create the best all-around game. They seem to be going for a category award, such as "Best Musical Score," rather than reaching for the ever-coveted "Best In Show."

Until last Thursday, I had no idea that Brenda prototypes her digital games non-digitally. To me, this was a WONDERFUL revelation. Because I am a writer with no programming skill under her belt, I had become discouraged with finding where I belong in the games industry. Now, thanks to Brenda, I know that the written word is all I really need to create great games. And for that, I am grateful.

To end this post, I will leave you with the words from Brenda's last slide, about working with "taboo" subjects in the digital medium:

"I saw the wide, blue ocean and full possibility space of design. Photographers, painters, musicians, poets, actors, writers can all do it. We can do it, too."

Thank you, Brenda, for showing us the way.

Technical Difficulties

2009-05-04T13:30:00.000-07:00

I mentioned this in my personal blog on Saturday, but failed to say anything here. Bad panda, no new games!

My beloved Toshiba laptop is currently in the shop. Understandably, this will make updating anything, especially this blog, slow-going this week. (For the curious, the problem is that the power jack connector finally caved in. This always happens with Toshibas, not matter how gentle I am with the darned things. I had to send it in to Toshiba to have them weld it back in place since doing it myself would have violated what little time there is left on my manufacturer's warranty. Oye.)

Anyway, at the moment I'm at my friend's house using his machine to make this post (thanks, Jeff!), but this is not a guaranteed source of computer access because he has a life and I need to respect that. As it stands, the bulk of my updates this week will be done when my husband comes home from work with his ThinkPad. Hopefully I can barter time on the 360 for time on his laptop.

A New Feature

2009-05-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have noticed that there are now advertisements (specifically of the Google variety) being displayed on my blog. I gave the idea a lot of thought and decided that income is income, and while this may not result in me rolling in dough, money in any amount eventually ad(d)s up.

Pun most definitely intended.

How Am I, You Ask?

2009-04-30T20:13:00.000-07:00

Exhausted. Pleased, excited, pensive, and humbled, too, but exhausted is definitely at the forefront of it all right now.

I'm not sure I can stay awake long enough to write anything of substance tonight. I know I'm behind on my TGC posts, but I cannot say that this surprises me. I was up late almost every night this week preparing various things for the conference, be it tweaking my resume', wrapping up new networking freebies, or printing new business cards. Ask me if I'll ever attend a conference last minute again.

The answer is. . .of course I will. Duh. It's last-minute decisions like these that show you what you're really made of. Impossible deadlines yield extraordinary results. Or, so it's been said.

I started the post concerning Day One's adventures and saved it, so it will actually appear prior to this post once it is finished and published. Just figured I'd tell you guys that.

As it seems I've officially hit the rambling stage, it's time to call it a night. G'night!

UPDATE: Let me clarify this a bit. I would much rather plan ahead and get absolutely everything I can completed before "conference crunch." That would be ideal. For the time being, though, that may not be feasible. Not being familiar with the usual schedule of industry conferences I sometimes don't find out about them until a few weeks prior, and then I have to scramble to get the money together to even register. Only after I complete registration do I feel comfortable finalizing anything with any amount of certainty.

I hope all of that made sense.

Tips Gleaned From TGC, Day One

2009-04-29T20:56:00.001-07:00

Today was very productive and fun, but now my brain is chock-full of information. I don't think I will make a full post on Day One until Friday. However, I will share with you guys and gals some things I learned today.

1. If you are driving to the conference center, remember to allow time for parking.

Remember my earlier post in which I mentioned that parking downtown was a lot more time-consuming than I thought it would be? You would think that would have been enough to remind me to leave room in my timeline to allow for such snafus. Yeah. . .not so much.

In all fairness, it was my GPS (I call her Bridgit) that caused the bulk of the problem. You see, Bridgit is not a high-end device that gets constant updates on traffic problems and construction zones. She's just a regular, old-fashioned direction-giver. So, when she instructed me to turn right in front of the Marriot City Center and I nearly drove head-long into a chain-link fence, I really shouldn't have been shocked. Thank goodness for good brakes. Apparently, there's construction going on in the area in front of and beside the City Center, requiring that a huge chunk of the street be blocked off. No direct route to get where I needed to be was clearly visible. (And no, ramming through everything to get to my goal a la' Nico Bellick wasn't an option.)

Not being familiar with the location, I had no idea I could drive up two blocks and double back to reach the parking garage directly connected to the City Center. As such, I wound up parking 2-3 blocks away and having to hoof it to the conference in the 80-degree wheather. Between finding another parking garage, searching for a space, making my way to the street below, asking for directions to get past all the construction, and finally getting to the City Center, I was 40 minutes behind schedule and missed my first lecture. I rolled with it, of course, and it turned out to be beneficial to me in the long run, but given that I'm supposed to be one of the people that plans for such problems, it was more than a little embarrassing.

So: If you're not staying at the conference site, pad your timeline for arrival by a minimum of 30 minutes to allow for minor catatrophies like limited parking when planning your daily schedule.

2. If possible, take advantage of pre-registration and early check-in.

I don't have the final numbers yet, but this first year of the Triangle Game Conference was much larger than anyone anticipated. If I remember correctly from listening to Board members, they were hoping to reach 400 attendees on the outside. In reality, more than 600 people pre-registered, and many more registered on-site when they arrived on Wednesday.

This is HUGE for a first-year conference of any kind. Seriously.

As I said earlier, I took advantage of early check-in while at the TGC Kickoff Party. You see, while this was my first game-industry conference, it isn't my first convention in general. The lines at the registration table at any multi-day meeting are almost always horrendous, and while I do know how to queue up properly I avoid it when I can. Better to just get all of it over with. As it turns out, I was right. Even though I was almost 45 minutes "late," the lines at registration when I walked in were at least 25 people deep at each station, three lines in all.

This may not seem like a big deal, since most people just give their name, grab their gear, and leave, but a goodly number of folks use their face-time at the reg table to ask questions, and even if only half of them do it, that's still roughly 38 people taking more than 5 minutes to get out of the way, and before you know it you've been standing in line for 3 extra hours that you didn't have to. And that's only for the people who pre-registered. It takes even more time to register on-site, so best to avoid all that if you can and save yourself a lot of time and hassle.

To review: Get your registration stuff done before opening day and pick up your packet and badge early if at all possible.

3. Bring pens. LOTS of them.

This isn't something I learned from TGC, but something I tend to do in general. Naturally, having at least one pen in your bag or briefcase is a good idea so that you can write things down in a timely manner, like corrections to the brochure or lecture room changes. This isn't the only reason I'm telling you to bring writing implements, though.

It goes back toward what Darius Kazemi said about making yourself memorable.
I've lost count of how many times I have endeared myself to someone for being Jenny-on-the-spot and having exactly what they needed at exactly the right time. Most everyone loses track of their pens, so even if they had one at the beginning of the day they'll mostly have misplaced it at one point or another. Having extra pens in your arsenal means that when someone needs a pen, you can offer one up and let them keep it. When they ask, "Are you sure I can keep it?" you can say with certainty, "Sure, I've got a spare." They'll remember you as their savior AND as prepared for anything.

If you want to take it even further, have pens made with a condensed version of your business card printed on them. That way, people will REALLY remember you when they ~~steal~~ ~~appropriate~~ are gifted your pen.

Reader's Digest version: The pen can be just as mighty as the business card. Speaking of which. . .

4: Have some sort of business card organizer handy.

There's nothing worse than losing the business card of someone you had a great conversation with. Rolodex, Buxton, and many other companies make handy little wallets of different sizes, colors and capacities to help you with this issue. You may think you will never have this problem, but how many times have you lost track of a phone number scribbled on a piece of paper or a spare $5 bill because you pulled something out of your pocket and that crucial item fell on the floor, unbeknownst to you? For me, that has happened more times than I'd like to remember.

The other advantage of a business card wallet is making the giver feel like you take their "gift" seriously. You're not just idly shoving it in your back pocket or in your purse or bag, which can give off the perception that you really don't care about the card or who it represents. By sliding their card into it's own slot in your organizer, you are saying to them, "Look, I'm giving you the same level of consideration I give other people I take seriously."

To recap: Card wallets are a good idea. (Coincidentally, as of 4/27/09, Office Max has several different of Rolodex business card wallets on clearance. You should go see what they have.)

There are many other tips I have bouncing around in my head, but I feel this is enough for now. A lot too much information to process from the last few days, so I need a rest. (I'm sure you folks do, too.)

TGC Kickoff Party

2009-04-29T18:52:00.001-07:00

The kickoff party went fairly well from where I was standing. Er, sitting. It was fun, and a lot less formal than I feared it would be.

I arrived at Buckhead Saloon at 7:15 due to parking issues, but it wasn't a big deal. I got in line to pick up my conference bag and name lanyard, then proceeded into the bar.

As with most "free" parties, beer and wine were free, but liquor was not. Needing a stiff drink to calm down my hyperdrive (I was understandably excited), I said to heck with it and started a tab. Opting for a Midori sour, I sat at the bar, taking in the sights and sounds. It was unbelievably loud in there, but that could just be me. I haven't been to a club or bar in more than a year. Anyway, I didn't immediately see anyone I knew at the meeting, so I looked over my conference packet, noting that while the bag contained a map of the Expo Hall, there wasn't a map outlining the layout of the conference center. Curious. . .

By that time, my drink was gone and I ordered a glass of white zinfandel, since it was free. Here's a tip: If you're a big fan of wine, DON'T order it at an industry event unless the place has an upscale dress-code. The free wine at an event held in your typical bar runs from distinctly average to incredibly awful. This one was average, so I consider myself fortunate. If you have to stick with the freebies (which most of us games-biz newbies do), go with the beer.

Right as I started getting a little bummed that I hadn't successfully struck up a conversation with anyone, I spied another wine drinker amongst the sea of beer enthusiasts. I quickly walked up to the bar under the guise of ordering more wine and started talking about our wine choices. Her name is Alicia and as it turns out, she's not an industry person, but tagged along to the with a pair of her friends, Gabriel and Tobias. I believe they are students at one of our local schools, but I can't be certain because Tobias bought a round of tequila shots for the four of us and things got a little fuzzy for the next hour. Another tip: If you aren't sure you can hold your liquor, DON'T do this. Or at the very least, don't drain your wine glass afterward. Which reminds me, I owe someone a drink. . .

By that time my buddy Marq from Red Storm came up to the bar and things really got rolling. We swapped the usual weekly update, and he began pointing out people I needed to know, like Dana Cowley, the head of our local IGDA chapter, and some people who work for Wake Tech and WomenGamers.com. Wound up getting my picture taken (by one of the WG.com people, I think) and then the actual introductions began.

Marq introduced me to Caroline Moore, a composer from Virginia that he met at GDC, and she introduced me to a handful of students she knew at the meeting. Mark Rubianes, Charles Scott-Spain, and A.J. (No explanation of the initials was given on A.J.'s nametag, sorry.) All really cool people, all whom I hope to meet up with tomorrow at TGC.

I stayed out far too late for my own good, but it was lots of fun and I managed not to make a complete fool of myself. I'm pretty sure that's because I avoided being roped into playing Rock Band on the big screen in the game room, but still. Not looking dumb + still having fun = Really Good Thing.

Tomorrow, I'll bring you an update on the first day of the Triangle Game Conference, and my tips for successfully navigating an industry conference. See you then. ;)

Professionalism for the Brain-Dead

2009-04-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

The caffeine has yet to hit my bloodstream, so we'll see how far I get before this devolves into something awkward.

As I said in my previous post, every industry out there may have similarities to other fields, but should be treated like a separate, individual animal with it's own unique quirks and qualities. That's all well and good, but what happens if you're in a situation where you have no clue what to expect?

I received an email from my local IGDA chapter inviting me to a pre-conference kickoff party at Buckhead Saloon Tuesday night. Mostly with the goal of securing my conference passes early, I accepted. Of course, many game industry professionals and other local IGDA members will be there. Being ever the social butterfly, this piqued my interest. However, this isn't just any old party: it will be my first official industry-related event, and the idea of making an idiot out of myself while I'm there scares me half to death.

I have never been to such an event that I wasn't in charge of. I have almost no idea how such events work from the attendee side of things. What's the dress code? What do I talk about? What are the "rules" for handing out business cards? Should I eat before I go so I don't get distracted? My industry contacts are currently incommunicado (understandably so, given that we're less than 24 hours away from TGC), so I'm flying blind here. What's a girl to do?

Naturally, I turned to the Internet God (Google) for answers.

Given that this convention is in its inaugural year, searching for TGC-specific advice is a no-go. Searching for "GDC etiquette" yielded many hits, but articles like this one, while amusing, aren't exactly helpful.

This little gem written by Darius Kazemi, on the other hand, is quite helpful. Even four years after he wrote it, people still point to it (and his business card) as an example of what to do when networking in the games industry.

The gist of all these articles: Keep it simple, be distinctive, and for goodness' sake, wear comfortable shoes. This doesn't help me for the kickoff party, per se, but it helps in general. I guess I'll just have to go with my gut: nice jeans, clean, white sneakers and a printed t-shirt.

Introductions Are So Passe. . .

2009-04-26T12:00:00.000-07:00

But, short of parading every teacher, friend, and ex-boyfriend I've ever had out on stage for a homespun version of "This Is Your Life," how else are people supposed to get to know me?

So, an intro I shall write.

My name is Amanda, I'm 28 years old, and I live in a barn in the middle of North Carolina.

For the last five years, I have been a professional soapmaker. It happened quite unexpectedly, as I had a 0-4 losing streak with lasting jobs post-college and I needed something to do when I wasn't pounding the pavement looking for work. I made my first batch of soap, sold it to my mother and a few friends, and a thriving sole-proprietorship was born. Between making product, editing my website and Etsy store, and traveling to craft festivals, I was a very busy little entrepreneur.

Unbeknownst to me, I was slowing becoming more and more like my mother (oh, the horror) and her sensitivity to fragrances and scents, natural and synthetic alike, began to manifest itself in me. Around Christmas 2008, the allergies REALLY started kicking into high gear. Between the physical demand of making every product I sell from scratch AND doping up on Allegra 180 and Sudafed every day, I burned out. Fast. I knew that I couldn't be a soapmaker forever. So, I began looking into a career change.

The problem was figuring out just what I wanted to do with myself. When I wasn't scouring cyberspace looking for ideas or filling orders for my website, I played video games. I have a PS2, a DS, a PSP, and an Xbox 360. Plenty of things to keep me busy. I'm something of an eclectic gamer (more on that later), but for the most part I play action-adventure titles. I have two pet peeves when it comes to games: Shoddy plotlines and clunky game interfaces. About the eight-millionth time I got frustrated while playing KoTOR II and Assasin's Creed, I was hit with a revelation: I can't code worth a darn, but writing I can do. Why get mad about crappy video games when I could just write something better?

I have always had a cursory interest in the game development field but given my lack of programming expertise, I settled for a part-time position in game testing and left it at that. Of course, one cannot live on ramen and Dr. Pepper alone, and that was pretty much all I could buy with the money I was making testing games for Merscom here in Chapel Hill. I needed more information on the local game development scene, so I did what comes naturally: I talked to EVERYONE I knew to see if anyone had a clue as to what I was talking about. Eventually, the Universe threw me a bone: It turned out that one of my associates (we'll call him M) worked for Red Storm Games. M gave me his email address after a particularly stirring post-GDC conversation about jumping puzzles and quick-time events and said, "Start firing questions at me, and I'll do everything I can to help you get started. You can do this, if you really, truly want to, but you'll have to work harder because you're a different kind of nerd."

I'm paraphrasing, of course, but you get the idea. As a result of M's advice, I joined the International Game Developer's Association, which turns out to be a lot less daunting that it appears. (That, and their dues rates are a lot more reasonable than the ones over at the Handcrafted Soapmakers Guild.) And this week, I'll be attending the inaugural Triangle Game Conference here in North Carolina instead of vacationing in Myrtle Beach. (The fact that Myrtle Beach is currently ON FIRE has absolutely nothing do with this decision. No, really, it doesn't.)

So, I begin this blog three days before TGC with the hopes of documenting my adventure in the days ahead. I figured this was as good a place to start as any. I haven't been to a conference or convention in about six years, and that was the Southeastern Theatre Conference in Mobile, AL. While I have an idea of what to expect, I think each industry's conventions are their own kind of animal and should be treated as such.

If nothing else, this should be good for laughs. ;)